A Little Help Can Change The Road You Are On.

Our past can be a road map for our future. We tend to pick roads that look similar to the ones we've been on. Partly out of habit, partly because we are comfortable dealing with what we've already faced. Potholes, washboarding, lack of signage. We wonder after a while why or how we got on the same road we thought we put behind us. We clutch that map. We keep using it.

When we are really ready to change we look at that map. We take note of the landmarks. We turn to our friends and say "Hey, if I keep on this road- could you call me on it? Could you give me a carrot to chase or nudge me toward other roads which might be entirely unfamiliar but past due for me to find?  I'll do the same for you!"

We get caught on roads with deep nasty ruts. Revving and revving and wearing ourselves down. Habits die hard. Friends want to help but social etiquette goes around the needed constructive communication and just plays the "Yes man Enabler Song" on repeat.

I'm not your Yes man. I maybe be your friend, ally, student, teacher, healer, fool but I won't be your Enabler. I'm not going to talk you into another donut, twenty shots at the bar, or condone jackassery.

There's enough real shit in this world that needs addressing. Communicating honestly, brainstorming, we can be the mirror for our friends and our communities. Together we grow, heal, and have a remarkable impact. Alone we could be exhausting ourselves with good intentions but not enough amplification for even those who love us to hear.

In Africa there is a saying "It takes a village to raise a child."

The truth is, we all need support. The support of your village, your people is healing. Your mind shifts and your roads shift with reaching out and being reached. Healing goes both ways. We never stop needing our village, it needs each of us to be healthy as well. Mental health is hard to maintain in isolation, people need people.

What is your map like? How many times have you driven the same road? What keeps you there? If you broke a pattern, how?

Who is part of your village? How do you treat each other?

If you find yourself in a nonsymbiotic position, what can you do to change the road you are on?

Important questions for a healthy tomorrow.

Not Just Another Dry Rant on Politics, or A Bipartisan System Lubricated by "Campaign Funding" is Absurd

It's a tuesday night. Imagine we are watching a sporting event. It starts with a montage of photos and video footage promoting a competitor. Next there are snips of interviews with the competitor and their supporters. Next there is the opposition and their supporters. A lot of posing and soundbites designed to crank up the crowd. The fight begins. The fight ends. Some sports are real and it is about skill or how well the referee attends the fight. Some are entertainment, like professional wrestling and political campaigns unfortunately you only know the sponsors of the wrestlers. The political sponsors may be hiding behind sub companies names so you may not see the giant behind multiple donations pulling the puppet strings on candidates. 

An open mouth! It is a candidate using someone else's excellent writing skills to persuade you through their charisma and charm that they actually are there to represent you. Hold on, have you taken the time to review any of their track records? We are a country of inattentive parents wondering  why our metaphorical teenagers (politicians) are out of control. How many times have you looked up to see how often your representatives are attending sessions in Washington? How many times have you looked up to see what legislation they are actually signing, writing, suggesting and voting for? Are you just assuming that because they have the "Democrat" or "Republican" label that you feel fits you, that they must be doing their best on your behalf because their "shirt has the same tag"? That is as absurd as assuming that just because someone else wears the same shirt as you, they make the same choices and have the same goals that you do. Stupid, huh? 

It's human nature to want to be included, to identify yourself with a description into a group. We like being included, we like fitting. Unfortunately the parties do not fit anymore. Our political system is broken. 

Basically, if you were to hand a legislator several million dollars for their campaign you can tell them how to vote. In fact, the people funding the campaigns are corporations, and the corporations are getting the votes on the legislation they want. They are educated in politics, they follow Washington, they monitor who's showing up and who's voting on what. They have to know that stuff to know where to direct their energy so that while you are busy worrying about late bill payment, feeding your kids healthy food, appealing health insurance coverage, and just keeping your head above water- those corporations are making sure their agendas are met. For them, with the resources and finances to lubricate political wheels they smile while the American public- poor, middle class, and would be upper class all suffer at a proportion that feeds conflict. One person staunchly supports legislation because it finally gave them financial breathing room while another bitches that their rights just got stepped on and that they shouldn't have to support anyone else. 

When did anyone in this country come to deserve to be entitled? Sorry, but supporting each other rather than punishing or being intolerant of others is human and crucial. We are all human, we are all fallible and WE ALL DESERVE RESPECT AND SUPPORT. No one deserves to be paid lower than their worth, no one should be a criminal because they need medication, no one should die because their insurance coverage was declined. We should not have to teach children that water is not safe to drink, we should be working on legislation to protect the environment as IT IS THE ONLY ONE WE HAVE, there is no magic reset button or cosmic parent that is going to show up to clean our metaphorical room. 

You might think I am taking this too far, but just to show you how moronic it is to blindly buy into and support a candidate because of their party affiliation here: 

Apache Junction Arizona: Pinal County elections for Constable in 2014. John Acton was running Republican, he was caught using misleading and false statements in his campaign after he was elected. The county decided on a recall election, giving the public a chance to vote again- thinking that the public would make a wise decision considering the candidate was inappropriate based on the behaviors he was caught doing in his campaign. A little about Apache Junction; it is lovely but it's mostly retired folks and loud, proud Republicans. They voted him in again over an independent candidate who had no record of wrongdoing with 58% of the vote. Several months later, he was already in trouble for harassing residents, threatening them using his title as if he were a wild west shoot them all Sheriff. The county is trying to figure out how to deal with the loose cannon the public permitted to step into a position he is not fit for. John McCain slipping in a hand off of land that a prior President designated to NEVER allow mining- knowingly to a large mining company on a defense budget bill for a small profit in comparison to what the company will take home to their owners overseas while they destroy land that has historical significance to the Apaches. 

Democrats do not sit back and pat your backs, your party has also had it's share of inept and corrupt officials. Obama could have refused to sign the defense bill until the rider McCain added was removed; instead he said play nice and ducked out of the controversy; he also hasn't made a move to free Leonard Peltier although he could step up and resolve an old wrong instead of perpetuating it. Hilary Clinton moved to New York State to give herself a better shot at presidential candidacy. These examples may seem opinionated or weak but I save the best for last. Democrats, do I need to bring up the names of Democratic Governors of Illinois convicted of corruption? 

Time for us to stop picking a generic description to become a part of a group. Time for us to make a description for ourselves - if that is what we need- to become responsible citizens. To monitor our politicians and their actions; to review candidates not based on sound bites or media coverage but on their actions, their demonstration of skills and their choice to decline taking funding from corporate sponsors if the funding includes corporate puppeteering. Corporations do NOT care about your health, they do NOT care what you want, they CARE about THEIR profits. It comes down to what they can convince you that you need to consume, how much you NEED to spend and have the things they sell. Do not HUMANIZE them, do not allow advertisements to cloud your judgement. At the end of the day it comes down to numbers, to money, and how much of yours they can get. 

Become Independent. Be Proud, be original, be a thinking, autonomous American. Choose to join a growing faction of people who do not care about labels. Actions speak louder than words. Let's start hearing the speeches and talks in Charlie Brown adult noises and start looking at the bottom line. 

Resumes, references, lists of achievements- we should want to see them. We should also be asking: who is funding you and WHO IS DOING YOUR WRITING!?! 

We should be pressuring for legislation changes to stop PACs. We should be pressuring for legislation to abolish or limit the potential of lobbyists. Instead we're playing games, watching sitcoms, and whining. Time for change. If we don't like how dirty our metaphorical room has gotten, it is up to us to make changes. 

We can boycott products, we can use social media to create petitions and to form groups to watchdog political actions and choices. Instead we share moronic memes. We have power. Each of us is capable of more than we realize. A majority of us is easily possible. Think if 10,000 people protest a political bill through boycotting products, that is a large profit lost; media coverage fuels further impact. If one million people protested through "sick out" i.e. calling in sick on the same day across the country to protest a political choice- it would bring the country, the politicians and corporations to their knees within a day or two. Think about it. You are free whether you realize it or not, whether you utilize your freedom or choose to see yourself caught in the endless hamster wheel of American society today. 

The choice is yours. Instead of treading water, voicing the same concerns repeatedly- take steps to change. Take steps to educate yourself, to vote with your spending, to monitor political issues not through social media coverage but through the numbers, through the decisions made. 

We could make our country one to be proud of again, rather than an opinionated, biased, irrational, unpredictable and mostly mediocre one. Wouldn't it be nice to be proud of our international status, rather than be viewed at oblivious world bullies and users? Wouldn't it be nice to work with people, to exercise tolerance and to promote good health and wellbeing here- and around the world? 

I could be wrong. The track records of BOTH parties demonstrate that I am at least partially right. Government is supposed to be about REPRESENTING THE PEOPLE; not the Corporations. 

Disposable Society

Welcome to a disposable world. Friends come as easy as a button click on Facebook, they go just as easily. Bedding the wrong color? Need to match the blender and the microwave? Does your child need every new plastic toy that comes along? Can you focus on anything for longer than five minutes without getting restless? Do you feel powerless, depressed and driven to want things as if things could make that feeling flee?

Welcome to a disposable world, where we are disposable people. We feel we are worth more than we are paid, we feel we need the money, we need the debts, we need what?

I spent yesterday afternoon appreciating the beauty of Oak Flats Campground. According to Resolution Mining Company the ground there will be stable for maybe ten to twenty years. They intend the ground to be stable at Apache Leap, but they are being trusted to monitor that themselves. Mines that regulate themselves contaminate and destroy water supplies, history has a long list of examples. Go ahead, drink tap water in Bisbee. I dare you. Laugh and call me an alarmist, just keep drinking that tap water so I can sing your eulogy.

It's alright, I know escapism is more important to you. It's someone else's responsibility, right? Since we're on a downward spiral, why does it matter? It will only matter when we realize we've gone past the point of no return. Our garbage lines streets in India, ocean fish populations are pillaged and not nurtured to be maintained or protected. We live in a world where it's about me and today. Egocentric, narcissistic and without any meaningful value.

What can we do to change?

Stop listening to the ads. Stop supporting marketing campaigns. Stop buying things you do not need. Instead of spending time playing games and running away from reality, face it.

Teach your children to be responsible. Teach them to value what they need rather than become addicted to wanting. Start going without wants, focus on recognizing needs and meeting the real needs you have. Chart your own course, take responsibility for your role in this world. Don't like your job? Change jobs. Don't like how you are treated, start communicating better and acknowledge your own role in where you are at.

Reach out to others who are choosing freedom and reality. The time for games is over, it is time for us all to grow up. We are not as important as we think we are.

What we leave as a legacy are our children and the world. When we destroy mountains, wipe out species through the drive for shallow and temporary profits, we demonstrate that we are a pathetic and short sighted species that can do no better than destroy ourselves, fight each other over differences in intangible philosophies, and justify our own deprivation.

When I look at the beautiful places, undisturbed by man I wrestle, wanting to explore but wanting to leave those places untouched for nature to continue as always has been without interruption. My desire to be there is not as important as the lives that unfold there.

We really need to get over the idea that we are all special. We are not all princesses and princes. We are a bunch of whiny, irresponsible, inconsiderate, hypocritical, weak children dressed like adults. Willpower? Ability to resist impulses?

We can start by doing our own research. Eating healthy and exercising, planning your life to address your long term goals. What goals do you have? How do you want to be remembered? What legacy will you leave, beyond reaching a fictitious skill level in a fabricated game?

I support saving Oak Flat Campground and Devil's Canyon. I support preserving Apache Leap.

I support the Clean Water Campaign.

I value the world, the future enough to say it is past time to stop sitting and tuning out the warning cries of a world being roughly raped and pillaged. It is past time for us to realize that we're on antidepressant medication to take the edge off, because we've let things go to far. We've given up our power to corrupt, wealthy politicians and corporations. They shape our lives. Why?

Escapism and "being free in your head" are the answers a child would give living in an abusive environment. It alarms me how many people live as adults that way. I've always been the one that stands to take the hit and strike back. I will call it as I see it. I accept responsibility for my words, actions, choices. I gave up games. I'm playing at a higher level, and I'm playing for a free future in a healthy world.

Together, thousands of us can change things. We boycott buying unnecessary goods. We start gardens, farms and community support. We meet our neighbors. We accept that technology is fostering complacency and apathy in us. We choose to change. We set goals and we relearn healthy habits and choices.

Needs: food, shelter, water.
Wants: plastic doodads, cartoon themed sets, accessories, how many digital devices do you need?

Getting what you want doesn't fill the void inside you, only learning to listen and love yourself as is can fill that void. Stop perpetuating an abusive society rife with shallow self delusion. Accept responsibility, start prioritizing and take the wheel. If you squander this life you do not get another one.

Or, go ahead, disregard my words and be a disposable person in a society of disposable people.

Storytelling and the social media age

Searching for gigs is like panning for gold on the putting green of a golf course. The internet is an ocean with possibilities, so vast that it makes the search harder.

You want an easier search, you pay a provider to include you. Does it mean your work is quality? Hemming and hawing could be done, but it comes down to money rather than skill. Money for professional photos and editted video, money to add listings by area of the country and even more if you want or need a national listing. You want to be included with enough detail to interest prospective clients, pull out those dollars as it has nothing to do with talent, appeal or skill. Professionalism already shook its proverbial head and quietly left.

Being found or being considered when you send out lines is even harder; so many fish in the sea and so many vivid, amazing, incredible pr fliers, cards, emails, and ads for so many folks that may or may not be what their flashy ads suggest.

I marvel at the momentous effort required, the frustration of finding knock off princess pseudo-cosplay characters getting gigs as if they were entertainers rather than cheap imitations that people are content to trick themselves into paying for. Hire real entertainment, people who have worked for years considering their performance as important. Performance versus appearance, performance versus an ad campaign.

I cringe at calling myself a storyteller, as everyone tells stories. The word brings to mind someone tedious and long winded rehashing tired stories someone else wrote. Wrong. Entirely wrong. I know amazing storytellers who deserve recognition for their skill. Brother Donald, Joshua Safford and Terry Foy, all gifted, practiced and incredible.
Have we reached a point in civilization where instead of veneration, storytelling is seen as a lesser valued trade? Storytellers used to be the pinnacle of entertainment, I see quotes from famous actors calling out that the world needs us. Needs us? As we race into our metaphorical phone booths to switch into our superhuman storytelling costumes, will we really be perceived and valued for our trade or will it be seen as lesser than other forms of entertainment? It would be like Superman waking up to a world where a thousand someones eating fire bumped him out of respected recognition.

Why should storytelling be valued?
We learn from stories. We gain perspective. We are distracted, we laugh and cry. We release what we've carried and we are reminded of the human connection. A good storyteller sets themselves aside and offers the audience the stories they want and need. It is about the audience. Every politician, lawyer and successful con artist has to be an excellent storyteller although none of those folks want it on their resume.

Allow amazing storytellers to inspire you. Inspire them, appreciate the profound chance and take each beautiful opportunity you are given to savor the way their words inspire you. Appreciate how hard, in a sea of social media, it was for chance to bring you to a place where you could have the opportunity to listen.

How often do we listen anymore? Is that timer running in your head even now, telling you to rush back to a candy colored game or gossip or shopping? Slow down! If you are so discontent that you have to constantly shift your attention, why? Stop avoiding what needs changing or addressing. Settle down for a story, take what you need, make changes to reduce that weird agitation that seems to be affecting everyone lately.

Let a storyteller help you change the world.

Stop buying things you do not need. Stop justifying them. Focus on your health and the health of your relationships. Stop blaming. Take responsibility. Set goals. Relearn self control and impulse control. Be the Captain of your ship rather than a hapless stow away jostled by the waves of social mores and norms, legislation, and advertisements. Turn off your data. Turn off your phone. Go outside. Talk with real people. Live your real life, and if you do not like it- set goals and change it. Possessions and pretending do not make the world a better place. A starving child is not saved with a doll and a princess dress, but with nourishment.

I was asked what my ideal community would be like and to give it serious thought

Start caring for each other, instead of attacking each regardless of the size of the difference. Compromise. If you choose not to get along because of severe conflict you have the right to choose not to interact or have dealings but must accept that mutual connections may still interact. Resposibile living, growing animals and crops, self sustainability: learning and teaching the basics. Choosing to stop and not include disposable, wasteful options like bottled water and plastic toys. Solar, wind power, and human power.

We as a people lost our voice after the sixties. We choose to believe we are stuck. We are not. I hear and read people saying change starts within. Be free in your head and you will be free. It's misleading. It starts there. It shifts to responsible, informed decision making regarding your immediate environment and choices. It expands into changing and reforming the laws and government. Do not accept corruption. Choose to take the power from those who misuse it. Learn to be adults again and without an immature rant, accept that other people are different and have different views and beliefs. Respect them as you want your own respected, and do not assume they are flawed or wrong any more than you would want your questioned.

Storytelling. Learn why it has been held in high esteem throughout history. Read or listen to a storyteller. It could easily be the most dangerous thing you do. Remember, Charles Manson and Leonard Peltier are both still in jail not because of what they did but because of the stories and the influence the would have on others if freed. The power of words in a master's hands goes beyond that of a gun.

Have an excellent birthday Tawasi. May the world change, May people make the individual choices to shift the sands out from under the unstable, unhealthy structt we have now. May each person be strong enough to listen to their spirit and step back out into impacting the world for positive change.

As a storyteller, I encourage you to remember that you are the protagonist in your story. You, not a cartoon character, but you. You are incredible, you hide behind apps and you bear the burden of feeling trapped and attacked by judgemental peers in a social climate engineered to divide you and rewarding you for judging, rewarding you for impotence and acceptance. Find your personal strengths and start changing your worlds. Become immune to advertisers and labels. Accept that life is hard, dangerous and fleeting. Appreciate it.

A Pause for Life Lessons

No matter how old we get, how experienced we become there is always something to learn or relearn.

Prioritize your time. Spend it with the people who reciprocate as much as you can. Accept that sometimes you give affection or attention to people who haven't learned to reciprocate or to value the finite time you have to share.

It sounds cheesy to say "make every moment count" but it is true. The future is uncertain, take time to focus your attention and affection on making high quality memories. In the end, it's what you get to keep, not money or material goods.
Ask a dying person what they value most or wish for more of. Time with the people they love. Good time, good memories.

Lessons we've mused on this week:

1. Listen. Listen carefully. If you're friend isn't enthusiastic about a venture that you are, don't drag them. You could be missing quality time with other friends, in other places, and putting stress on that friend through pressuring them. Listen.

2. Prioritize. Take time to seek out the people who work to stay connected with you. Life is like an ocean. Currents pull us in a thousand directions, if someone cares enough to throw you a line return the favor and value the gift of their connection.

3. Even the free do not always have free time. Friends love you, but schedules happen. Don't resent, accept and move forward.

4. Check your gear in advance. Communicate rather than assume. It's not rude unless it's not done.

5. Watch how people treat the people around you. It's not attractive or cool to have someone ignore or belittle your friends and loved ones to butter you with compliments. Focus away from that toward the sincere friends around you, or have fun putting them on the spot by complimenting and including the person(s) they'd rather not. It could be a good lesson for them.

6. Appreciate the people who care, don't belittle them. Nurture them the way they nurture you. Appearances can be deceptive- like biting a chocolate confection only to taste kerosene inside- skip it.

7. Accept and move on, if someone doesn't value you like you value them. Quit wasting your energy, give it to the people jumping hoops to see you smile.

There are words you never say unless you want an argument:
"You're so negative," "you argue...," "you always" and "you never."

Guaranteed Bickersons episodes will follow. Not sure who they are? Google it...

The people around you are mirrored glass. You can see and hear how you interact and how you prioritize by who is there and how they act.

If you want to see beauty there, you have to put it there. If you want light and trust, communication and value, you have to put it there. If you want to see a friend smile, give them care. If you want to see them wilt, put them last or criticize them, or put them in situations that make them uneasy without support. Support the people who support you.

Choose wisely who is there. Some people aren't worth the effort of trying to teach- and some are downright toxic, pushing away and trying to undermine healthy relationships you have.

I always wish I could give my friends perfect stories, perfect lives, that I could give them the most valuable gift.

Then Danny reminds me I do. I value them and I love them. I listen to them. I care. It's worth more than gold.

Lessons. Learn, relearn.

The absurdity of social media

With the internet the way it has become we never need to leave home. We never need to talk to each other. We can spend our time controlled by the misconceptions that expressing our views, beliefs and interests on social media sites actually has an impact on the world.

Voter turnout is down? Why? Perhaps because we all participated in expressing our views and stances online. Perhaps we felt that was a type of voting?

How many people have done a nonsense survey on their "fairy name," special song or macabre fictional death? How much time wasted on leveling up in cartoon games? We could learn languages, cultures, explore the world, gain real skills but instead we vote with our dollar and time. Facebook now charges small businesses to even post where anyone can see it. We could fight it, we could support our friends businesses and ventures by sharing and liking posts. Instead we like moronic memes, redundant, unimaginative surveys and corporate advertising.

We could do to Facebook what we did to MySpace. We could part ways.

How do we change things? Not by posting. We change things by educating ourselves, not trusting or relying on the government to give us neutral, accurate information. We start by being aware that money is controlling our country. It is absurd that we boast of democracy in a country ruled by corporate interests. Freedom?

We are free to block applications, we are free to use search engines to do research and make our own choices. It seems absurd that we let the Facebook and Twitter feeds be our network instead of sites like Huffington. We can choose to buy from small businesses and individuals, we can do reviews and facilitate networking or we can focus on twerking?

Why are we so bent on justifying and endorsing mediocrity, complacency and believing validity in weak scientific studies?

We change by choosing to take the time to be responsible and accountable for our own health and wellness. We change by teaching our children and modeling constructive use of time. We change by working on decreasing the dangerous new craze of labeling and belittling others we perceive as different than us.

Don't like someone's view, the new way is to villanize them. If they become villains, it's okay to treat them in an immoral, derogatory way. We can excuse anything as long as it's a villain that pays.

It may sound absurd until you think about it. We learned this as children watching cartoons. Heroes fought villains, villains deserve to be brought down. But are we facing real villains or shadows? Conspiracy theories abound.

To change we need to be aware, to foster tolerance and to try detaching enough to have perspective. I watch those old cartoons and realize some of those "villains" really did nothing wrong. Some of those "heroes" were thieves, bullies or worse.

What we watch, what we spend our time on, these things shape our views.

We can change by voting. We can change our internet use and applications. We can change by demonstrating and protesting. France once changed through the most gory revolution in centuries. We aren't Sims, we shouldn't live like we are- THAT is absurd.

I Wish I Could Say Corporate Greed Is Absurd

It is not. It is terrible. The headlines have a repeating theme. Jobs cut. Positions moving to overseas locations because companies can reduce costs by paying lower wages in other countries. The t-shirt you are wearing, that you cheaply bought? Was it made in Haiti by someone who only earned $6 whole dollars in a day to make it? You find that an acceptable business practice? Capitalism all the way? Someday, you'll be the rich person that can laugh as you sit on the backs of faceless people who think they are getting good wages in a poor country? Six dollars is good wages in a day in Haiti? T-shirts not a good enough example, why not call centers that keep sliding out of the country claiming U.S. workers cost too much to pay. Companies do not do it to nurture employees or foster a work environment of growth. Money is the bottom line. What should be a business cost has become a CEO bonus. Why not create laws that force corporations to invest money that would have gone toward paying American workers in the United States or in the countries they are using, by going to the services of the lowest bidder. Say Great Generic T-Shirts makes their sweatshop in Haiti. They pay out $6/day for the year. The difference that they would have paid with US workers is identified on their taxes and they pay it. They designate it to social and environmental programs.
It is absurd that we think it is okay for someone to get paid less than what their work is worth. Two skilled workers doing the same job should not be paid differently just because they come from different cultural backgrounds and live in different geographical areas.
It is absurd to be angry at people making minimum wage in a society where the cost of living continues to climb; do we expect minimum wage earners to just be happy without enough to meet their basic needs? Perhaps we can build them a couple of churches to pray at, that would be nice. That way they have a place to just deal in wholesale hopes and dreams and the consolation of the intangible love of some greater force. Something to take the edge off their rumbling stomaches and thundering bill collectors or maybe I am just being absurd.
Before you get angry at me for defending the lower class, I think that most professionals are underpaid. Working in Psychology with a degree I could get less than $20 an hour. Good pay was around $10. I know lawyers making $10/hour. The military is highly underpaid. Highly, and I am amazed they haven't figured out that they could use their training to force a reorganization of the government away from Corporate control. My Political Science Professor always said that intelligent legislators always pay their military and veterans well because "they are the people with the weapons and the training." Perhaps Washington has forgotten that in the constant need to dance to the tunes of corporate wishes and dollars.

One other idea, perhaps equally absurd but possibly effective. Why not set a certain amount of money to spend on political campaigns based on what type they are (Congress, Senate, Presidential). Each candidate competes to raise money that is donated to address the deficit. Deficit gone, then it goes to social programs. Their campaign funding gets spent on paying debt and gets put into social programs. So if all three presidential candidates are only allowed to spend $3 million on a campaign and they appeal to the public through speeches and fundraising (which they already do) to fundraise. Let the public see what good they can do. Let us vote based on what we think of how they spent the money they were given. All donations registered and made transparent. Let us decide based on the amount of good they do. Why are elected positions the only ones that let us (the actual employers) review resumes, references and work histories? Why do elections seem to run on rumor mongering and hearsay? Why do we allow ourselves to forget that they are ALL reading speeches written by PROFESSIONAL SPEECHWRITERS who ARE PAID to MANIPULATE us. If we are going to make politics entertainment, there should be constant disclaimers going across the screen.

Learn about the Barnum Effect, while you laugh and affiliate based on generic similarities to different groups- the very characteristics you pride yourself in are the ones that cold analysts are watching, adjusting their puppets behaviors and words to mollify and stroke the egos of those who feel they are included in a group. That a group specifically represents them, when it really doesn't- it's just the average, generic description. It is used successfully in advertising. Doubt me? Ever seen any pharmaceutical commercial? Ever? They listed the symptoms. How many did you have? You listened, you checked and you wondered if it applied to you. I remember one really ambiguous one that showed a woman walking down the beach. I wondered if it applied to me. Then I heard erectile dysfunction. Well, being female I was amazed at how only the last words of the narrator talked to the men watching.  In psychology, they joke about the Barnum Effect. They apparently never talk to advertisers.

We perpetually defend the rights of the Corporation. Why? Why do they have more rights and freedoms than the individual? Did you know that a Corporation can kill someone, two someones, hell- let's be absurd… a thousand someones and not be criminally charged? It has to do with the status of a Corporation. If you or I have a drink too many and make the terrible mistake of getting behind the wheel, we pay the price and potentially get sued for millions more than we will ever be worth for a mistake; yes a REALLY STUPID and WE SHOULD NEVER BE SO STUPID mistake but a mistake. No driver I have ever met at any bar has ever said "Hold on, I just have to drive home so I can kill some total stranger." No one has ever said it. Maybe we need posters that say this at the exits of bars, to remind people whose judgement is reduced with a bit of sarcasm the folly of their plan. In fact, it is absurd that all locations selling alcoholic beverages don't have graphic warnings at the door or free drinks for designated drivers. I have been a volunteer designated driver before, It felt good to know the roads were safe those nights. You are wondering why I bring this up, misjudgment and accident. Corporations knowingly make decisions that put profits before harm to the public. Remember the car companies getting into trouble over fudging injuries and fatalities to stall out expensive recalls? I remember. Google it. Fascinating and grim reading. People died because of faulty vehicles. Corporations did not face criminal charges. They paid settlements. A lot of settlements. They didn't get a record, spend a night with the mythological Bubba and a bar of soap. They didn't even get a slap on the wrist. They got stern looks and continued using formulas to determine the largest profit ratio, how many settlements could be knowingly arranged and paid out while still allowing the company to sit tight on profits. And as an aside, never, NEVER, drive after you have been drinking! No more bad stories from tragic misjudgments needed!

Industries cut corners. Corporations change ingredients and use fillers. They read the laws, then take a fine toothed comb to them, they figure out how to manipulate appearances. Packaging and labeling, even descriptions and ingredient lists change based on public response. Recoil from High Fructose Corn Syrup, then watch for "Corn Sugar" as it is the same thing with a new nickname, one without the stigma of the commonly known name. That is as absurd as trying to look smart by calling a Pigeon a "Rock Dove" - which incidentally, is it's less common name.


T-shirts. So have you checked your labels? Do you know where your t-shirts come from? A friend recently gave me a t-shirt. I recognized the brand. I have had other shirts from them. This will be the last. I will keep it to remind myself of their practices. Gildan. They have a factory in Haiti. They pay workers $6 a day to turn wages into profits. They are using people. People are a resource.


We all have value. The world has value. What can we do to change things? To treat the world and each other like we all have intrinsic value would not be absurd, it would be human. It would be progress.

The Absurdity of Dishonesty in Media in the Digital Age

Last night I played with photo editing apps on my phone and with a few deft taps I became an alien. Green smooth skin, hint of a mouth, giant black eyes.



Just because something starts as truth or observation does not mean that with a few taps, strong words and poignant images that it remains truth. Perhaps we should be teaching children about what truth is, about how to research and weigh information. When I was in graduate school they told us that primary school through undergraduate school classes were to teach people how to do what they are instructed and to do basic research, accepting the sources found as accurate.

Graduate school teaches you to lead, to weigh the veracity of information and information sources to stop assuming. Shouldn't we teach children not to assume? Why should we perpetuate an education system that doesn't empower development of independent thinking skills and problem solving? Are we afraid that children will turn on us? Sadly, I think it is more likely to happen when we continuously dismiss them, enable them, excuse them, and teach them what respect and honesty aren't. The plots of many children and teen programs are about how stupid adults are and how to successfully lie and manipulate them. Why? Why isn't it absurd?

I remember the newspapers before 9-11. I remember the headlines. The country was considering impeachment of George W. Bush. Then 9-11 happened. All the sudden, he was the symbol of something and the country forgot how just days before we were beyond frustrated with his lies and ineptitude. It is hard to dig up the articles on good ole George and impeachment now in the shadow of the horrific impact of 9-11. I am not going to go on about 9-11. In fact, I want to remind you that there was an earlier 9-11 in Chile in 1974.

I want to remind you that it is public knowledge that our CIA and  government supported terrorist actions against the government there, and it wasn't an evil overlord that got cast down. It was a democratic government. The atrocities committed by the terrorists we funded and supplied were terrible, and somehow that word just doesn't lend itself to the true impact of how bloodthirsty and malignant the new, violent regime was. It was about profits. It wasn't about supporting a democracy, or we never would have supported taking down a democracy. So when you say 9-11 I am reminded of the truth. Our horrific event was set on the anniversary of another horrific event; a clue from terrorists that we are hypocrites. I'm talking about "we" as a country.

Do you know that we have never formally apologized as a country to Chile for our involvement? The CIA was found guilty of atrocities and torture, yet a verbal slap on the wrist is all they get when the feeble excuse for committing heinous acts of torture on human beings was "we got some information, kind of…" Although, when told to spit it out and say what they got, they couldn't do anything other than generalize. Stop. There is no justification for torture. If you would not torture someone personally, then you should be vocal about pressuring your government to stop representing you this way. Become aware of how our country is perceived by the rest of the world. They don't see our communities, people volunteering or working together. They don't see us trying to implement recycling programs. They see us bombing, they see us sending in soldiers and randomly picking sides, they see us empowering cartels to murder and dominate through our fabricated war on drugs to once again, increase a profit for someone. The wars that happen continuously in the Middle East are about profit not really prophet. We could take the powder out of that keg by developing and producing transportation that doesn't operate off fossil fuels. Remember supply and demand? Demand goes away, doesn't matter what supply is.

Isn't it past time for the CIA to hang up it's hat? How about creating a World Relations Department that has a focus of fostering good, healthy relations with other countries? Perhaps if we focused on that instead of on the need to foster fear and profit off fear, we could start becoming a respected member of the global community instead of an oversized moronic bully. It is up to us.

It is the digital age. My fingers can dance on keys and call up news from other countries to see what the six news sources in the US aren't saying while they hyper focus on soap opera fluff. I can watch lies unfold and impact. Currently I am dumbfounded. We apparently, really don't like North Korea. After the Sony hack, experts in cyber-crimes investigated. Their findings do NOT point at North Korea, they point HERE in the U.S. however our government doesn't like the North Korean one. Instead of standing up straight, tall, and honestly our President lied to excuse sanctions. Why? Can't we put on our big man pants and say "We are sanctioning you because of your human rights violations" which would be completely honest. For some reason that isn't a good enough reason, so we exaggerate and toss in the hack they probably didn't do. We lose credibility, Korean dictator gains. His reply was honest, frank, and sadly called us out on our dishonesty. Why aren't we calling for accuracy in international relations? There should be a leash that we as citizens can tug on to say "hey, be honest with the world." I try to be as honest as memory allows me to be, we all forget things now and then. I do not like being represented with lies.

It is flu shot season. They do some good for some people, so if you get them great and if you don't great. Your choice, and I respect that. Did you notice there has never been a long term research study on the overall health impact of getting yearly flu shots? Did you know that one of the issues with flu shots that is overlooked is the uncertainty of whether or not it is actually good for the immune system? Last week, the news talked about how the latest flu has mutated so much that the flu shot doesn't have an effect on it. Now, wait a week. This week, the newspaper encouraged everyone to go get flu shots as it could potentially help, although it won't. It was the most unusual article and the writer had to try hard to sound positive. Someone wanted an article nudging people to get the shot, someone wants a profit. Thankfully, my memory lasts more than a week. I went back and read both articles side by side. Funny. As if we should have a reset button in our heads, that the media pretend gets pushed when they want to manipulate our lives.

We all have the power to reach beyond what is presented to us, we can ask for more or seek out different sources. We can start establishing what we will and will not accept from our 'leadership,' we can say no more lies. We can vote, we can protest, we can pressure to chance legislation. We can peacefully stand and say "We want accountability. transparency. honesty." Why not? Why not start working to heal some of the issues that are unhealthy about our country? It is absurd not to.

The Absurdity of the War on Terrorism

Often when we disagree with someone or a group of people, we assume a stance of hostility, blame and we choose violence; perpetuating never ending cycles of vengeance and trauma. For example: Your country has different beliefs than mine and I decide that some of your people are heinous criminals that I need to destroy. You may or may not agree. I bomb your country to kill the infidels. Problem: my bomb does not just kill the infidel, it creates an area of destruction. I kill many people, some of whom never thought or did anything harmful or contrary to my beliefs-they may not have supported the infidel either! Their family members suffer the trauma of their death as well as the wounds they may survive with in a world that has been shattered by a bomb. They have little to live for, except revenge against the callous apathy that eradicated their loved ones with the push of a button. Each bomb dropped is another wave of death, destruction, and mangled lives. Each bomb creates emotional, psychological and physical trauma of immense proportions. When survivors suddenly side against me, I feel I'd better go kill those infidels too. Infidels just keep popping out of the wood work, and it reinforces my shallow view that 'all those people over there are evil and twisted' when ironically it was my choices, my attacks that shaped their perception of the world. In actuality, I am the one who committed the crime.

I bring this point up in contrast to the humanitarian programs. If you really want to stop terrorism you do not fight it, bomb it or threaten it. You choose to make amends and start the healing process. You make reparations, you offer empathy and foster an environment where everyone has food, shelter, clothing, and safety. You do not move armies in or drop missiles. Give people a  reason to choose to turn away from retaliation, give people a reason to stop supporting violence on either side. There should be one side-humanity.

We get so wound up with how right we are, we pick and hold our arguments close to our hearts. Is there any wonder why the 'enemy' does the same? What would your life be like, how would you choose to live if suddenly a missile struck your town, killing your loved ones and friends and destroying your economy? You'd what? Go get weapons and make them pay? Right, that is exactly what they are doing, isn't it amazing how much alike both 'sides' think?

Labeling groups of people and judging everyone who could possibly be involved or supportive of the group is not a sign of enlightenment or compassion. It is absurd. Do you like it when someone labels you and treats you with bias because of your appearance or beliefs? No. I have yet to meet anyone who gets tickled pink by the idea of being called a bigot or referred to with slurs.

If you want to end terrorism you have to look at ways to bring positive changes and stability into the countries that are torn by poverty and war. You have to give people something to live for. Regardless of how bad things get in the United States people do not race around committing acts of terrorism every day. Why? Because they are comfortable, they do not want to lose what they have, and they have the freedom to waste time playing video games and eating junk food. Give people what they need. Give them respect and tolerance. Foster growth. Open communications in a constructive manner.

Stop trying to be the final judge, jury, and executioner for the villains; start giving people a reason to start being human again instead of faceless enemies. I'm getting tired of the absurd arguments for perpetual wars, especially when I see people in our own country struggling to get by on low wages, when corporations take high paying jobs overseas to increase profit margins, and legislation is passed for the good of the profit rather than the good of the people. Let's get our priorities straight. Let's become a respectable country known for wisdom and compassion rather than weapons sales and mass destruction. Let's stop creating terrorists and committing acts of terrorism-before you say we don't do that, think about the recent findings about the CIA. The CIA allegedly works on your behalf. I am not proud of the techniques they used and I do not feel there is ever a justifiable reason to torture anyone. Ever.

A New Year approaches. We can choose to change our country, our stance, our view. Why not choose a healthier one and become a leader in changing the world in a positive way? Remember peace, when does it get a chance? When does the name calling and retribution stop? How much has to be destroyed before we admit that we are going about this backward?

The Absurdity of Advertising

The Absurdity of Advertising

The Modesto Bee had a lovely square coupon attached to the front of it. The coupon advertised by two and get one free caramel apples. You are thinking "so what?" The same newspaper had just warned readers the day before that there was an outbreak of a food borne pathogen that might be linked to eating caramel apples and that it was too early to identify specific brands to avoid. One day they issue a warning and the next day they accept money to advertise the product they warned against. Are you thinking that maybe in that twenty four hour period the caramel apple candy scare had passed? Think again. It is over a week later and they have now identified the culprit to be listeria and the source might be Happy Apple Brand caramel apples. Thirteen people at least have become ill and reported it. I wonder how many other people went bug eyed and started laughing when they saw the ironic coupon crowning the front page of the newspaper like I did. I saved the sticker to smile at when I need to recall how absurd and ironic our society can be.

Then Sony has their system hacked, possibly by North Korea after producing a movie making fun of it's government and leadership. Sony gets tired of having it's customers and relations but at the fingertips and mercy of long distance hackers and pulls the movie before it is released. People band together in an anti-terrorist stance to pressure Sony to release the movie and accept the targeting of hackers. The United States may or may not have hacked North Korea in response. Is this sounding like a grade school melodrama yet? "Joe made a Youtube video calling a principal at another school a potty-head. Joe's phone stops working right and so does his friends. Youtube pulls the video. Kids riot and pout. Even kids who think Joe is pretty stupid and that the video is moronic. Youtube puts the video access back. Now even more people HAVE to watch it because not doing so would be supporting terrorism. Do you realize how absurd that statement is? I like Seth Rogen, I enjoy laughing at some of his comedy. Some of it I find very juvenile and awkward-this is my opinion. It doesn't make me a patriot to see a moronic comedy. It doesn't have any impact at all on politics in North Korea any more than it would if a North Korean made a movie making fun of our political system and politicians. You think there isn't enough material for them to work with?! Come on.

Let's consider that at least five of the Senators WE elected to Senate faced criminal charges in 2014 ranging from bribery, DUI, corruption and conspiracy to sell guns, money laundering, as well as felonies. Let's also look at the number of ex-congressmen and women who turn into lobbyists boasting of making three and four times the income they did when they were in office by manipulating politics using tactics that legislators cannot but are legal for lobbyists to use. They brag about it! They represent whoever pays them well, a few actually go after the causes they tried to support for their constituents but the majority don't. The majority do not represent you in their actions or their votes, they spend their time fundraising and spin controlling against negative publicity. They spend their time listening to lobbyists and finding ways to make bad ideas sound reasonable to the general public. We persist on identifying ourselves with specific parties. Stop for a moment! The next time you watch a political debate between parties I want you to close your eyes and picture them preparing for a professional wrestling match. It may sound absurd, but it will remind you of a few essential facts.

One: if they are talking, it is all prearranged and carefully planned to appeal to certain viewers and listeners. Actors make excellent politicians. They PAY people to write for them who do not care what you actually think or feel. They care about where the money comes from. When they talk you should be focusing on what is motivating them to say what they are saying, what do they get out of their stance?  Remember the swine flu? Remember Joe Biden making a rash statement that was rather alarmist. Do you remember how much he and his friends made off the stock for Tamiflu, when they had had a surplus that was going to expire… until we all had a need to run out and get some to keep ourselves safe from the Swine Flu Terror! He apologized and retracted the statement but his dramatic advertisement worked. At the expense of your nerves, he counted his profits and sold his product. It should not be legal and it is so absurd that we choose to allow melodrama and hype to direct us to make choices.

Movie theaters that did not plan on showing The Interview had to pick it up and change their schedules because everyone has to watch it now. It's a classic because of the hype. Sony did the best advertising they could have by pulling the movie and building public outcry. The movie may end up making a profit because it's now a patriotic film. Wow. One woman was interviewed about going to see the movie, she identified that her relatives were afraid that North Korea would bomb them for seeing the movie. News flash, North Korea does not come to your small town and bomb your politically inactive family because you saw a movie. They MAY hack your account if you have one through Sony; they may screw with internet access and a wave of new viruses may come out to mess with our software. If there is violence it will be government versus government. If you aren't a decision maker in Washington with clout, you are just one of a multitude that doesn't even register on another country's radar. We really need to get over our over-inflated sense of self importance.

Arguments rage about fracking. Companies want to frack more. Gas prices drop drastically just before the holidays, and when you mention how happy it makes you they tell you that they let it happen because of fracking. They encourage you to support it more, and to be more dismissive of the problems that arise around it. Don't think about the earthquakes in the Dallas area which correlate to an increase in fracking there; contamination of ground water is not a big deal. I read someone justify the contamination of ground water through fracking 'because' it has been contaminated before. Do I have to say how absurd that rationale is? Really? I have hiked in the Adirondacks. One of the worst environmental embarrassments in that region is the acid rain that killed off life in many of the lakes there. Years later, they were pristine and lifeless with hikers and locals hoping that one day that would change and the ecosystem might bounce back. But hey, if they were contaminated before-why not more!

IT gets better, so they advertised for fracking by dropping gas prices for the holidays then just after Christmas they announce that they have to raise them to protect the environment. They need to make it more expensive to drive so we all drive less. We are going to drive when we have to drive, why not fund building more forms of alternate transportation that have lower impact on the environment? Why not put money toward funding the development and construction of more fuel efficient and alternative fuel vehicles? Why not offer incentives for people to car pool and ride share? Why not just be honest with us and stop using every single change to manipulate our sympathies and get us to stand behind stupid and reckless choices?

Before you argue against that I want you to consider how many times the FDA has approved pharmaceutical drugs ONLY to pull them within several years when they are discovered to have too many adverse or potentially lethal effects. Do you know the numbers or the names? There is a list on wikipedia; there are approximately 170 drugs on the list that may or may not have made it to the United States before being put on the list in Europe due to issues there.

Not front page news, but real and impacting real lives in the United States. Did you get a vote on how the pharmaceuticals are tested and regulated or categorized? No? But one of the big ticket hot items is cannabis legalization, which the pharmaceutical companies do NOT want as it jeopardizes their profits. Their stance has nothing to do with research, nothing to do with cannabis itself. Their stance has to do with controlling profits and making money.

On the other hand they are fighting a struggling economy, the demonstration that Colorado has not gone "insane" from legalization but instead has generated millions in tax revenue that it can use to address state needs without increasing taxes on individuals. Colorado created more jobs as well as decreasing prison populations with legalization. Other states are looking and changing their stances. Energy drinks are legal and have warnings on their labels, they have repeatedly caused harm yet they aren't all over the news and the source of controversy. Why can Red Bull give you wings and get in trouble for traces of cocaine in their product about ten years ago when you can't smoke a joint to take the edge off your anxiety or anger? On the other hand you could go get a prescription for zoloft and risk "homicidal ideation" as one of the adverse effects. Is zoloft going to go do the jail time for you when that doesn't fly as an excuse for an acquittal in the courtroom? I used to carry around a Baycol mug that I drank my coffee out of. Baycol was a heart medication that was pulled because people died using it.

When companies make electronic goods they send them for testing at independent laboratories before selling them, you know that "UL" tag on your lamps? It means an independent company tested the product and found it safe. WHY is there no independent lab testing on pharmaceuticals? The research companies do support their products, as grant writers have to demonstrate that their proposal will be successful and have a predicted impact-the research presented to the medical field often has holes in it. You aren't supposed to ask about those during the presentations when they are feeding you 'finger foods' because laws changed and prevented them from buying you meals as it was too much like bribery. So now the finger foods are the meal. I went to a few presentations at the VAMC. I was the one asking the awkward questions about research validity. I excelled at statistics and methods in both my undergraduate and graduate programs. The outcome of research is only as strong as the validity of techniques used to gather information and to monitor results; strong and valid research uses methods to decrease and prevent bias in outcomes and observations. It is hard to do that when you are the one that will profit off the results of your research. We COULD pressure the government to require independent testing of pharmaceuticals before they are approved. It seems absurd that we do not. It seems absurd that we have no problem with every pharmaceutical being approved without debate when we have to debate cannabis. We did not debate when the country spontaneously decided to legalize ABSINTHE several years ago- and absinthe is one of the most illegal drugs in the world with a terrible reputation for misuse. We legalized absinthe and everyone hasn't rushed out and cut off their ears or turned into derelicts begging on street corners. It is all about advertising and where the money goes. Decisions are arbitrary and often absurd, and we let the media shape our perceptions. Why?

Today, I ask you one thing. Please, the next commercial or news broadcast you see I ask you to watch it with one thought in mind. Who makes money because of what they are saying? What actual evidence other than the statements of someone being PAID to say what they are saying is offered to you? Note it. Start doing it as an exercise. See how often you find yourself resisting absurdity and digging for the truth. Empower yourself.

The Absurdity of Gender Typing

The Absurdity of Gender Typing


Society sets certain expectations on children based on their gender. Culture, peer pressure, and fashion work in tandem offering very specific paths that boys or girls may choose to follow. Perception of them as an individual is based on which path they choose rather than by WHO they are. Their appearance becomes the clue as to how they will interact with the world. It is absurd.

Let's start with females. Girls, women, ladies, bitches, sluts, whores, queens, divas. Have I missed a few of the terms used to identify the female gender? How many times have you said or heard any of these:

Girls like pink. Girls don't hit. Girls don't like math. Girls don't like science. Girls love to cook. Girls love fashion. Girls love to get dressed up. Girls love makeup. Women love to bitch. Whiny Bitch. What a whore. It's women's work. It needs a woman's touch. Girls want to be princesses. I'm waiting for Prince Charming. She was asking for it. She's a slut. She dresses like a whore. Girls hate cleaning.

Now that we have those great theories out there, I am betting that you already thought of more. We cue each other socially on how to interact. We reward behaviors: I have seen many parents reward their daughters for whining or pouting, using negative manipulative behaviors instead of neutralizing them.

I see pictures of current fashion and style. Girls wear shorts that barely come past their crotch. I can make out their nipples through the shirts that barely make it around their body without popping as they are skin tight. I hear several friends in my head saying "it is their body, it is expression." So why does fashion not accentuate natural beauty, why does it emulate a ten dollar crack whore? The body is beautiful, why not display it like a valuable jewel? A friend had a lovely body painting done, hold on tight, she WASN'T wearing a shirt. Her skin was a beautiful blue and white pattern. Beautiful! No one who saw her thought about taking her around back and gang raping her. I am not saying that anyone deserves to be raped, but the media creates an image of what someone wants based on how someone is dressed and how they apply their makeup and style their hair. The ones girls are wearing, like those of the crack whore on the corner indicate: stripper, hooker, easy, looking to score if you follow examples from our culture.

Before you object: have you every seen a stripper wearing body paint in a beautiful design that did not point at their sex? Have you seen one wearing long dresses; clothing that isn't form fitting? Ever seen one wearing granny panties rather than a thong? Nope! How am I not surprised. If I was going to go change careers today and become a stripper I would have to go buy the right clothes. I would have to apply my makeup right. I would also have to learn how to dance, or maybe come up with a routine involving comedy. I would need a g-string, thong, lacy bras, tight little skirts and tops. Somehow the fashion that teenage girls emulate is the very same as strippers wear to work. Strippers do not run around when they aren't at work in thongs and stiletto heels; with camel toes hanging out of their shorts. They just don't.

Women in committed relationships find themselves dressing up less and less, not worried about catching someone's eye. Dressing for comfort instead of looks.

I grew up in a small town. As teenage girls we were socially encouraged to learn to cook and take care of the home. We were encouraged to date boys and to dress up to catch the eye. We were on display. We were trophies to be impressed and won. We sought to win the right guy. We cooked, we joked, we excelled at sports and some girls fucked. It was always assumed we would marry, have children and tend our homes and families. What about who we were? What about what we wanted? Did we ever even know or were we too busy doing the things that got us rewards?

When I dress up and go out I wonder if I am looked at as a prize or trophy to be won and had. Are women really just a hole with two legs and tits for guys? Are guys really just dicks with wallets? I refuse to believe it! I have spent a lifetime refusing to believe it! My best friend in school was a boy named Sean and we played with dolls together-until he got teased so much his parents put him in a private school. I wasn't hired to work for my grandparents' construction company because it wouldn't
'look right' to have a woman on the crew. I hear "I don't think of you as sexy, I think of you as competent or sweet." Why is slut style sexy? Why isn't being responsible, kind, intelligent, outgoing sexy? Why isn't well dressed sexy? Come on people- it is up to us!

Did you know that there were gender correlation experiments done back in the eighties and nineties that looked at audience approval of films based on gender of the main characters? Did you know that BOTH genders like movies better if the main characters are male? Next most liked was unattached female characters. Think about that. They didn't include porn in the study or the results might have been a bit different. We act like porn doesn't exist, it is some sort of embarrassment-when it sells more than any other genre and was the motivator for the very internet we use now to exist. We are such an absurd society-to denounce sex and reward oversexed fantasies all in the same breath. No wonder kids are confused.

It goes beyond how we dress. We treat people based on their appearance. When someone shows up wearing less than a bath towel around their waist, we do not assume they are exceptionally intelligent or capable. What would your first thought be if I showed up at your door in a bikini? It wouldn't be philosophy or gardening, it wouldn't be that I was there to change the oil in your car. If I showed up in a suit you might wonder at first if a God found me and decided I needed to go pester you at your house about what you should believe; then you would wonder what I was selling. We reinforce the roles by rewarding the appearances that we like. We buy from salesmen who fit the stereotype. We tip scantily clad strippers with bigger bills. We give teenage girls our credit cards; which is our way of saying 'use your judgement which is influenced by what your favorite pop stars are wearing on your shows.' How about a little reason? How about a little practicality?

Women have a glass ceiling, often perceived as less capable in the professional workplace and paid less than male peers. When a woman expresses her opinion or makes a strong statement she becomes a bitch or overly emotional. Just a woman.

Instead of focusing on making children into a generation of mindless consumers who are only good at doing what they are told and following the popular opinion- why not take a role in guiding them? Why not empower them? Instead of enabling them and accepting that teenagers cannot cook, have no clue about finances or budgets- why not teach them? Why not discipline them now and then? Reward honesty and make manipulative behaviors cost? Stop playing servant to a generation who hasn't earned it!

Boys have it just as bad if not worse gender typing than girls. Boys, men, brolos, jerks, assholes, pricks, son of a bitches, fuckers, players. I probably missed a few here too.

Boy's don't cry. Boys don't hit girls. You can't do that to her, she is just a girl. You're a boy, your responsible. Men are strong. Guys don't ask for directions. Men get it done. Guys got to play the field, can't be tied down. Boys like red and blue. Boys don't wear dresses. Make up is for girls. Boys don't like dancing. Boys don't like dolls. Boys don't show their feelings.

Teenagers and young adults discover sex. They have sex. It is part of life. It happens. Sometimes girls get pregnant. Some girls make a career out of having children and living off child support while telling their children how irresponsible and uncaring their fathers are; a lot of guys get buried by child support. Sometimes the amount that is garnished is so high they can barely afford groceries and if they fall behind they are 'dead beats' or worse. They are criminalized. The courts often favor the women as 'women are nurturing' and are the mothers. Custody should not be determined by genders or outdated gender roles. This is a world where both parents have to work to support a child and pay the bills; just because a couple has a child does NOT mean that a guy should have to finance a woman's life until his child turns 18. There are many people who have various views and opinions on the topic; this is my opinion. I have seen women with three to five children from different fathers who DO not work; who live off the child support they get from the fathers who DO work. I ran into these women often when I worked in mental health. They had a lot of issues with substances and mental health problems and here they were raising and being the role model for three to five children. Absurd! Some guys get the short stick here. The legal system only works as well as you can afford it to, and it is influenced by opinion. Between couples it gets ugly. It can become a battle of words and worse. I wish more people would use condoms!

Parents enable their children, doing everything for them from packing their lunches and cleaning their rooms. Parents vie with one another to see who can outdo and be the best parent of all. One parent was described as even going into the classroom, taking her son's books and homework out for him. Wake up! How is your child ever going to succeed if you coddle, make excuses and enable? Are you planning to have an adult child? Part of becoming mature is being held accountable, being given responsibilities and learning how to live without your parents doing everything for you!

The people I see with the most balance in dealing with the typing are those who rebel against it. The people who say 'this is me.' I am who I am, deal with it and accept it or not. I have a beautiful friend who is a stripper. She always dresses up, she looks like a movie star from the days of black and white films. She has created her own style. We can all do that! She is so sexy, that she would be sexy in an oversized gym suit with a thick parka on from head to foot. I have another friend who plays with toys and she was the one in the body paint. She is an advocate for appreciating the beauty of the body. She is right. There has to be a way to desensitize how we react to nudity as a society. It starts with identifying and breaking our ridiculous perception of gender types and on stereotyping based on someone's clothes.

If I was a kid right now, I would be pissed off. A generation without direction, told they are always good because they might feel pressured or bad if they are told something else. Do you know that in many countries children see their parents shot, tortured, bombed and burnt in front of them? They are shot at! If a child from Bosnia were to suddenly be transported here they would wonder what madness had befallen the world. They would do chores, complete homework and strive to never have to go back to the war zone. They would work to save the money to bring their families here. Why do so many people and children illegally migrate to the United States? Because WE don't live in the real world. We live in an artificial bubble of consumerism designed to remain stable and keep the lower classes mollified enough that the wealthy can thrive. The lower classes do not have to worry about outright war, only taxes, poor health care, unhealthy food additives, and the occasional violent criminal. Way better than Sierra Leona where bodies lie around, and ebola claims lives left and right.

Children, I challenge you: shake off your smothering parents; start following the news. Start learning how to take care of yourselves and maybe someday you can teach your parents! Kids figure out who you are and what makes you happy; do not look to television, movies or commercials for a clue. Those things are only there to USE you. If I teach you nothing else, please remember that- and please, please, please when you eventually have sex USE protection: birth control is responsible. It isn't sexy to fuck without considering the consequences you could pay for the rest of your life.

Interesting fact about humans: when we have to focus our priorities on survival we stop worrying about what we wear or what Miley Cyrus did last night. When we have to focus on survival, when we have to DEPEND on each other, we stop coddling and start teaching. We set expectations. Our hearts break when we get hurt or fail, but we really live rather than perpetuate a cycle of consumerism, gender typing and bias, and petty conflict. We stop worrying about test scores. We start LIVING.

We all need to stop making excuses. We need to stop blaming the people we CHOOSE to elect. We can change how politics work, instead we just BITCH about them. We can CHOOSE how to perceive each other. We make choices every day, we choose to be passengers in our own lives-when are we going to take the wheel?

For now, I am going to continue to watch our society struggle with gender typing. I am going to dress up when I want to. I am going to make fun of people who see me as a prize to be won or had; I am going to encourage my friends to do the same.