Mud Pies and Magpies

Colorado has magpies. Beautiful black and white birds, they look like they are prepared to go to a formal event. Tricksters and opportunists they observe and call out in a variety of voices as if they have a hundred other birds songs caught on a secret recorder that they play back to amuse and astound.
I enjoy bird watching. The wheeling buzzards and turkey vultures, the darting little wrens and sparrows, the watchful hawks and owls sitting on branches waiting for mice to move below them. Once I even saw a nighthawk sitting on it's nest. On another occasion I heard the woods fill with the echoing song of Whippoorwills on a Missouri summer night. There is nothing so wonderful as observing nature as it is. Not interfering, not shouting or making loud noises. Not even talking, just sitting and letting life happen around you as if you were a stone or a tree. There is a peace in such observance. Our own petty distractions and illusions fall away. There is what is, the made up stuff vanishes in the sounds and scents of the real world. It is humbling to realize how much of what we focus on and invest our energy in is not even real and does not really matter in the long run. In a hundred years it will not matter what any of us thought of each other. Political views, religious views, even life choices- they will not matter and they will not be remembered beyond generalization.

The sounds of nature are incredible. They surround and soothe. The sounds of animals going about the rituals of life regardless of the head games and complications we like to add to it. The frogs singing for rain, singing for mates. The crickets with their steady beat, keeping time with the sound of the wind through tall grasses and leaves.

Today I head into the city, my significant other continues to rest and heal. I become three different fictional people for a few hours, I do work on contract. I act out a role and fulfill a contract. The work is easy and enjoyable. It is observing others as they work. Allowing people to do their jobs and to take a moment to observe a slice of their lives. Just like when I go out into the woods and watch nature, only I am observing people in an urban setting instead. The same peace and sense of wonderment can be found. The same appreciation for the brighter aspects of watching people be their best, as they go through their every day lives.

It is about being more than what we have chosen to be in the past, to be mindful of the world, respectful of each other. As parts of Society chooses to atone or at least acknowledge past wrongs, we should not turn and attack each other because apologizes and acknowledgements begin offering closure on violent and negative parts of history. We should not hide or try to edit the embarrassing mistakes of the past away; they are the scars that remind us to choose more wisely, more considerately in the future.

Sarcasm is the latest way to excuse ignorance. When a poisonous comment is noted for being inappropriate, the latest excuse is "it is Sarcasm, aren't you smart enough to tell?" No. Sarcasm, when used properly is understood and appreciated. You can't claim sarcasm after you parade your ignorance and toxicity for all to see and read. It is like hitting someone with a baseball bat, then claiming you were killing a mosquito on their head. Seriously. There is a time and place for humor.

Perhaps instead of attacking each other over our differences, it is past time we let go. We stop trying to be little Emperors and Bully Boys. Other people have the right to their own choices in their own lives. It does not matter what we think of them, it does not matter what they think of us. Sit out in nature and listen to the crickets, frogs, birds. Watch the squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits go about their lives. Even with your presence they continue going about their lives. The squirrels may loudly complain you are invading their space. Other than that, the animals go about their lives leaving you to go about yours. Take that lesson and apply it to Social Media, social interactions.

In nature no flower resents another for its color and appearance, they grow and they bloom.

When I was a child I made mudpies on rainy days. Soppy cold water, grainy mud full of pebbles, and whatever random container I could find. No one really wanted them, no one ever ate them. This was always known, yet on rainy days it was fun to make them. It was fun to decide who each one was for. No one ever shattered the illusion with negativity or venom, yet now with the advent of Social Media people cannot wait for the opportunity to verbally slash at each other. Sometimes I post things just to see what angles people will attack from, to see if reason or emotion will be the instigation of ridicule or antagonism. They both come up about 50/50. Both are used to justify behaving like a spoiled teenager on social media. It has become apparent that while we as individuals appear to have maturity, on social media we can be less mature than the teenagers who's behavior we try to shape. They see what we post. They see how we choose to live. We aren't the best role models. We turn them to shopping when they are sad or hurt, eating when they feel lonely, feeling bad about their bodies if they aren't a perfect size two, feeling impotent as politicians continue to be inept and apparently beyond their control.

Time to make mudpies and to go out into nature. Time to relearn how to express our maturity. Time to demonstrate our growth, time to heal each other. Time for us to choose to observe each other at our best, to hold that and continue to respect and treat each other well despite what we were taught.

Today, I have the honor of enjoying part of three people's lives and witnessing their appreciation for the work they do. What are you doing to grow today and can I make you a mudpie the next time it rains?

When was the last time you went out walking, just to look at the moss? 

Colorado's State Flower, Columbine - When was the last time you went in search of wildflowers? 

In a circle all are equal. 

Have you tasted the wild fruit?

We are staying with a friend in the mountains of Colorado. My significant other is recovering from heart surgery and dealing with medical issues. The illusion of human immortality has been broken yet again. I follow my friends on Facebook, watching the surgeries, births, deaths, and everyday struggles. I started the day like I did when I was twelve. I took a container outside and crawled around in the lawn. Why? The scent of strawberries, the vibrant splashes of red leaves and berries signaling time for harvesting.

When I was twelve I crawled around in a field next to my house, I spent hours picking berries the size of my fingernails. Each berry had a thousand times more flavor than a large, domesticated berry. It was worth the time and effort for the finest jam I ever made. This is a profound statement. I have made a lot of jams and jellies from Chai Apple Jelly to Queen Anne's Lace Jelly; to say that the wild strawberry was the finest is an impressive designation.

I am almost forty. I am crawling around and picking berries again. Smaller than my fingernails, brighter than a rose and more delicious than any fruit bought in a store. The bottom of the container slowly fills with each berry adding color and volume to the harvest.

Patience and knowledge are necessary in wild harvesting. There is nothing like finding and eating wild food. It is an experience that everyone should have at least once in their lives.

Many people talk about having 'bucket lists' of doing crazy and extreme or obscure things. I think everyone should have on their list learning to recognize wild edible plants and to go out harvesting. There are easy plants to learn: wild strawberries, elderberries, raspberries, blackberries, black raspberries, blueberries, marion berries, rose hips, puff ball mushrooms, morel mushrooms, wild leeks, wild onions, wild garlic, apples, crabapples, prickly pear, yucca fruit, rhubarb, tiger lily and nasturtium flowers. You can find wild or once domesticated herbs growing: comfrey, plantain, mustard, dandelions, mullein, cattails, cowslips, sage, rosemary, and garlic. You have to be aware of look-alikes and know your plants; but there is nothing like going out into nature with empty hands and coming home with a feast.

One of my favorite plants is Jewelweed or Touch Me Not. Bright yellow and orange flowers, stem full of juice and seed pods that explode on touch shooting seeds like party favors on New Years' Eve. Jewelweed is a wonderful topical antihistamine. Take a piece of the stem, crush it in your fingers until the juice is released. Put the juice on bug bites or poison ivy. Relief! In the warmer regions you can find aloe. Aloe leaves can be ripped open and the inside pulpy juice wiped on sunburns or other skin rashes for succor. What healing tricks do you have from your native plants?

Two little wild strawberries packed with flavor. 

Wild black morel, to learn about wild edible mushrooms join your local and state mushroom hunting groups. Learn from the pros! Safety first!

Nothing is as wonderful as enjoying a fruit fresh from the plant, warmed by the sun and rinsed by the rain. How many children have a concept of where their food really comes from?

If you have no wild places near you, have you considered putting in a garden? Even a small garden with several plants allows you the chance to see life unfold in front of you and offers you the chance to enjoy something you personally have tended. It isn't quite like tasting something wild, but it has it's own merits. Food you have had a hand in raising or harvesting is twice as delicious as any found commercially. Peas, lettuce, onions, squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, potatoes are easy to raise and make a satisfying start to your farming experience.

Some want a garden without a hassle, without anything to harvest. In that case, rock garden or moss garden would be a delightful endeavor that wouldn't constrain time. A moss garden is as simple as gently transplanting moss from one place to another and watering it thoroughly daily for several weeks. A rock garden is simply finding rocks you like and putting them in an area together; different shapes and sizes, colors and features to make a beautiful display without need for watering or tending.

Life is too short to spend it racing in a constant jog, spinning endless wheels to stay in debt and frustration. Even if your only rebellion is the small freedom of a garden; go for it!

When I come through perhaps we will go for a walk in the wild, I will teach you the plants I know and look forward to learning about the plants you know.

Life is too short. Too many friends face death. Too many that I want to kidnap out into the sun, to fill their last days and moments with wild beauty. I wish that the experiences you have in life are like wild strawberries, concentrated and amazing. Lives full of color and flavor, rather than oversized, bland abundance. Challenge only makes us stronger and more resourceful. Mowing wild strawberries only spreads them in a carpet across your lawn; their bright runners a celebration of the persistence of life. I wish you to thrive like wild fruit, to exceed your own expectations.

Watch the sunset, tune into the world around you. Do you know the calls of the animals in your neighborhood? Do you know the birds? Do you know the trees, shrubs, flowers? Perhaps it is time for you to meet your real neighbors. Whatever else you do today, whatever is going on inside your head, choose to step out for a moment. Choose to be present, here, now, and to savor at least one moment.

Sunset in Blackhawk Colorado, Savoring the moment and letting go of the day. 

Being Human Means Choices

This weekend is an exciting start of a wonderful festival I've been looking forward to entertaining at.

Sitting in a room full of monitors holding my significant other's hand, everything I'm hearing is "you can't go now." Reason says you have to, work adds money we need to our coffers. We support each other. The heart says hell no. Instead of letting either decide, while these angels and devils argued I asked my boss for advice and let her in on what's going on. Choices. Stay, go or attempt the herculean task of trying to commute 900 miles for the first few weeks of a show.

Fear paced the floor with me and a thousand negative what ifs. It didn't take long for her to respond. Her response brought tears to my eyes and relief to my heart. Stay. Take care of your significant other, come when everything is resolved. I can't put my words together well enough to say how grateful I am.
So many friends, so much love. I'm looking forward to the day this health situation is resolved, I'm looking forward to getting out my paints, putting on my hat and sharing out the profound love in my heart, paying it forward in magic moments at Bristol.

I read a post on Facebook that asked "Would you give up a thousand dollars to stay with someone you love if they developed a serious health concern?"

Honestly. I would give up more than that. Society pushes and pressures, insinuating that everything falls apart without money. Allegedly primitive cultures do not allow money to be the determining factor in support or life choices, so why should we? I can't put a dollar value on being able to feel the warm, live flesh of my significant other or to hear his voice calm and happy. I refuse to. I will do whatever jobs I need to to get by, whether it's gardening, cleaning, cooking, counseling, tutoring, or entertaining. For the next couple of weeks I'm focusing on my partner's health. Then I'm looking forward to entertaining and sharing the magic and love that surround me from friends across the country.

If you aren't happy, look at the choices you make. Is the duty or social pressure to have money or possessions driving you away from your happiness? Are you struggling to get money for happiness? Did you notice yet, money doesn't lead to happiness- it leads to more stress, conflict, and more wants- it is the most harmful drug ever invented that you don't snort, inject, inhale or swallow. Just the sight of it has led people to fight and kill. We give it more power than any God- every church bows to it, using it for influence and thriving on it.

Perhaps the primitives aren't so primitive?

It's all in how we rationalize it. It's all in our choices and our priorities. Listen to your heart more and your wallet less. Take time today to just appreciate life, friends, flowers, music, stories, art and the sunset. When was the last time you gazed at the stars?

Out of Control: Life

We like to assume that we have control of the events in our lives. We like to think we pull all of our own strings. Accidents, genetics, luck, chance, and random malicious people remind us on occasion how wrong we are. No matter how cautious, regardless of how vigilant, there will always be infinite options we haven't anticipated and may not be able to change. We're always on the road to El Dorado, as human beings it is our nature to seek the fantastic. We never like to think that one day our quest could be disrupted with tubes going in and out of various parts of our bodies. We don't like to think how frail we really are.

This is the slowest three hours I've lived in years. The slowest time since I was treated for cervical cancer. It is amazing how fast time goes when you are in the shower. It's horrendous how slowly it congeals when you wait for word on a loved one's medical conditions.

One of those days where you have no idea what will come, only hopes in the skill of a medical team and odds. It's a day where you don't want a loved one to be an exception.

No matter how much love or prayer is out there, what will be is what will be. We learned that heartbreaking lesson when Rumor died last fall. Hundreds sent prayers, love, light and vibes yet he was cold and stiff and gone when we found him. The love of our friends surrounded us, and gave solace yet there will always be an emptiness. Loss is an emptiness that is impossible to fill, it has to heal and it will never be the same. The subconscious craves completion, strives to find something to fill the void of loss, something to take away the ache from drugs to food or shopping or work- anything to shut down the unbearable pain of not having.

Three hours have passed. Chance, skill, luck, genetics, technology and love perhaps wound together for a good outcome. No amount of money is worth more than holding the warm, live hand of a loved one.

Today, take a moment to tell the people you love that you love them. Tell the ones you appreciate how you feel. Let go of petty preoccupations.

Make good memories, remember life is not always in our control. Do not assume what you always have will always be, savor it while it's there. in the end our experiences are all we have.

I almost drowned once. I was a teenager. I remember the silky elusive footing in the pond. I remember the pain and black in my vision. I remember being alone and letting go. My feet found the solid bottom of the pond and primal survival instinct kicked. I ended up at the shore vomiting and coughing, water running out of my nostrils like twin faucets someone forgot to turn off. In that last moment of awareness before everything went black: memories not posessions and the frustration that there weren't many and that there really weren't many worth having.

I've chosen a hard, beautiful path in life. When that moment comes again I can say the memories I've been making are worth having with people I'm honored to love.

How we choose to perceive our lives, how we choose to interact with each other- these things are critical. No one should need a hand up, we should always have our hands out for each other. This world could use more sharing, caring, and giving and less greed, apathy, and intolerance. In the end, we only have each other. Statistics demonstrate that lives start and end constantly around the world. No one has an expiration date stamped on their wrist, we all have the choice to live or live life like it's a waiting room. I can't force you to choose to live, only you can open the door to life just as you are the only one who can choose to click the the lock and exist on autopilot.

Live!

Life Is What You Make of it

Yesterday was a national holiday. Many people sported red, white and blue. Events and fireworks were advertised across the country. What to do?

We decided to go to the events in Nederland Colorado. They started with a parade and listed a variety of fun activities and music throughout the day. The sky was full of fluffy, light gray clouds. We took water, chairs, blankets and rain gear. Colorado weather changes quickly, given a few minutes you could have freezing rain and sweltering heat competing to see how extreme they can be.

Nederland is not a large metropolitan area, it's a small mountain community accented with pine trees, Espresso shops, and friendly locals.

We arrived, suprised by low attendance. There was a variety of great summer activities available to try. Life sized connect four, a giant inflatable to climb around on, life sized Jenga, and human foos ball. People had ramps for radio controlled cars to play on. A master wood carver worked to detail a sculpture of two eagles.

There were around forty people. The clouds might have looked an innocent gray but they rumbled like an aggressive dog. Icy rain and hail pelted us. We dodged under shelter. I realized why attendance was sparse. I feared it would dwindle with repeated bouts of cold, rude rain and jagged stabbing bolts of lightening.

I was delighted when few left. Everyone there was having fun and smiling. We all raced out, milking each rain free moment to play games. Human foos ball was excellent! It was comedic to play and break and play and break. Like playing red light green light with the weather calling the shots.

The power went out throughout the town. Nederland determination turned up a generator, the music played on. No one complained about the weather, we all ignored it together. In a drizzle I played jenga with two amazing kids. Brayden and Kayisha, whose names I've probably mispelled, wore smiles and went from game to game in high spirits.

The fireworks came with smoke, bright explosions above Barker Reservoir and large crowds that seemed to come from nowhere. The display was great, not the largest I've seen but among my favorites because of the whole day. The spirit of the locals, the smiles and positive attitudes. Few people I saw were chained to a smartphone inches from their faces, most danced, talked, played games, enjoyed the food or watched family and friends play games.

Seriously, if you ever get the chance to get out of the big crowd, to go somewhere like Nederland and enjoy a holiday- DO IT! The musicians were great and played despite the weather. The kids and adults made great memories that will last a lifetime- that's worth more than just going to a high budget huge display. I just wish I could have gotten there early enough to cheer on the folks in the pie eating contest.

Life is What you make of it. Yesterday forty plus people chose to make their holiday a great one, they chose not to use unpleasant weather as an excuse to be miserable. They didn't choose to stay home. I was among them and we had a marvelous time. Next time you find yourself glooming, instead consider what you can do to spin things around and bloom. Folks in Nederland Colorado do!

What is Freedom in a Country made of Ad Campaigns?

The Fourth of July started with a beautiful sunrise, cornflower blue sky and wild strawberries ripening in the lawn. A baby rabbit runs out to sneak a taste of succulent grass then races away as the puppy chases it.

You can't put a price tag on it.

Today is a celebration of freedom. The freedom to express beliefs and opinions. People in other countries do not necessarily have that. We have the choice to be active in shaping politics, communities and in the directions we walk in life. Some choose to tune out, to follow money and things, pursuing the pabulum claimed to be news of celebrities instead of actual news. Money's tight right now and I have traveling to do this week. I found a bright pink printed $20,000 bill from a game in the dirt. I thought about how little separates it from real money and how worthless money is when you stare at a sunset or watch a meteor shower.

I think about how we seem to need to buy things, always buy things to demonstrate what we stand for or to feel better or to chase away boredom. It's a hollow pursuit.

I spent a week helping friends move. Vast collections of things, family members deciding what to take and what to yard sale or donate. The mindset of having four or five in different color schemes as necessity makes me cringe, knowing one day that frivolous impulse will result in another overfilled landfill blemish.

What do we do when someone is sad? We feed them, pour them drinks, or buy them something. No wonder so many people feel depressed, disconnected and lost. What happened to listening and being there? Why have we forgotten the true value of real emotional support?

What do we do to celebrate? We eat, drink, and buy more things. What happened to just enjoying the moment? When did the value of a compliment get reduced to clearance prices?

When was the last time you spent the day with someone, just enjoying the time rather than shopping, buying things you don't need? When was the last time you actually talked and put the internet down for a while?

Here's an idea. Empty your pockets. Leave your wallet at home. Go to a shopping center and walk through it, notice how the ads and packaging are all designed to target specific interest groups, how they seem to buddy up or present products as if they are the penultimate thing you never knew you had to have. Study the vast, oversupply of things encouraging shallow, narcissistic egocentrism.

Now picture it all in a landfill. Think of how soon it'll break or the fad will end and the items will be discarded- the cheap possession high long faded and lost with a crumpled receipt on the floor.

Walk the aisles visualizing that.

Now, think of someone you love. What is the most valued memory you have? I think of my great grandmother Alice, sitting and having tea with me. I remember touching the lines on her hands and asking her if I had to have lines like hers when I got old. Her wrinkled perfect smile, the violets we tended in her garden. My grandfather rolling his glass eye to mess with people. The ridiculous and obnoxious antics he did to amuse himself. My other grandfather singing ditties and bouncing the youngest grandchildren on his lap to calm them when they were distressed.

I cannot find these things on a shelf, no sales flyer offers them, and no matter what I buy it is not these moments.

I hope that on Independence Day you choose to liberate yourself from materialism.

Merrill, a friend, always said "that which we enslave, enslaves us." He is correct. Things do not lead to happiness. Living, connecting, caring and accepting that maybe the world isn't less of a priority than self interest. Our society reminds me of undergraduate biology lab. A Petri dish with only so much nutrient in it, yet bacteria will consume it all until they have nothing left. They die. Emptyness around them and within them. I'm humbled that instead of rising above the limited self focused drive of a single cell organism, we instead demonstrate ourselves as fancier, more complicated, self destructive organisms with the same short sighted selfish choices of single cell organisms. I'd like to see us choose more wisely. 

We toxify our world and justify our destruction through rationalization or allow ourselves to tune out by looking away from the damage we do. Time has come to accept responsibility. Freedom has a price. Striving to reach beyond the limitations of our own self absorbed psyches, to evolve, we have to let go of the things we do not need. Our ancestors let go of the tree branches. They stood, uncomfortable at first; they struggled and made tools. It had to be rough, some chose not to stand, some went extinct. That's change. 

Today as you watch fireworks, think of the choices you have. How you spend your time, how you care and interact with others, how active and aware you are of the lives of the folks around you. Do you know your neighbors?

We can choose to enhance each others lives through relearning healthy social support behaviors. Eye contact, putting down the smartphone and conversing with the living beings around you, giving a hand, an ear- who isn't worth a little effort? Maybe if we stop trying to feed and pay off the emptiness within ourselves we can finally connect enough to heal. 

Independence Day, so I hope you choose to use that freedom wisely.

Quantum Highway Leap to Heaven

As a child I watched Michael Landon travel the country, working random jobs to enhance the lives of others in a rustic style. As I grew older I watched Quantum Leap, Scott Bakula shifted bodies like a woman deciding which dress to wear on a first date. Dean Stockwell gave him hints and direction, the two worked to help heal the people they touched. I'm not religious, I have morals and a drive to connect and heal. No labels, it's what I do and am its not out of fear of a fictitious hell or for approval. 

Here I am, almost forty traveling the country storytelling, cleaning, selling, listening, teaching, healing, sharing and doing my best to offer what I can to improve the lives of those I reach and meet. Some days I feel like a Brownie from the old stories, cleaning at night to make houses into beautiful homes. Other days I am cooking delicious Mexican food with Sylvia in the kitchen, two laughing women making tantalizing tamales. Yet other days I might be teaching archery, how to use apps, or giving direction. I might sneak a few minutes to type out inspiration or acknowledgment of a friend's life situation. Sometimes just being there is the best thing I can do, no judgement just an ear or sounding board.

I've been told if I settled in one place I could set foundations to be a recognized and respected storyteller. My feet tell me to keep moving, my spirit says there's more to do and see, my heart accepts the price of not being top of my field because I value those sudden magical moments where I get to witness the positive impact of love that I give. You can't put a price tag on it, it's worth wandering, it is more valuable than fickle fame or notoriety.

I'm living up to my childhood heroes, slipping into and out of places where and when there's need. I let the wind move me where I'm needed next, sometimes there's an idea or goal in mind while other times it's free flight and it can feel like freefall just like the times Scott shifted bodies in dramatic situations.

I don't always know what hat I'm going to wear next, I just hope that I fill the role well enough that the magic happens as it chooses.

Some days I squint in the hot sun wondering if you can have deja vu from a fictional character's experience, feeling like Michael Landon wondering about the latest story unfolding around me while other days I look in the mirror and wonder about the person there, that my happiness is woven tightly to the peace and care I have the chance to do and give. Handing a stranger nutritious food or a new coat, entertaining a family who doesn't have a dime to give a tip with but has appreciation in waves larger and more beautiful than the oceans.

Who inspired you? When I come wandering through, will you know what I'm up to?