The Human Condition: Approach is Everything

The world pushes: faster, harder, get in line. Treat people with the utmost respect, but fuck them. Entitlement and expectation are weapons, excuses the endless defense. Labels, endless finger pointing. Who is at fault? Sorry, not sorry. Feeling cute, might be an utter piece of shit later but appearances are important?

A few years ago I lived in a tent. A friend had a generator system set up to offer electric to everyone who was living in tents. The price was reasonable. He freely taught anyone who would listen how to monitor their usage, how to pick electronics- especially fans and lights that would not cost a fortune to use. I was amazed how many people didn't ask, didn't listen and got outright outraged when their bill came due at the end of the event.

Life. Life is like that campground. Full of people, caught up in their own stories and desire to be important in their own lives. Moving too fast and pushing too hard to stop and actually evaluate what is really important. It isn't a race. Life is an experience. They burn themselves out, abuse or neglect themselves hoping someone else will intercede to save them like in a Disney movie. They don't understand that all the time they squander- they can't get a refund or stiff the bill.

How we treat each other, how we spend that time, spinning away behind us as our threads wind toward their unknown ends- that is what is key. What is truly important? Time with the people we love. Time working toward the achievements we dream of. Taking walks with friends. Sharing meals. Growing gardens. Joking and watching families be families.

I love moments where I get to witness people doing it right. A girl coming into the store with her dad, to show off a costume- a character she created and made herself. Spending her time, their time working on a dream.

Are you taking time to live? I get it. The excuses. Bills. Expectations. You can work and live. You can balance out the present between working for your future and experiencing now. The next time you feel the urge to jump into annoyance or frustration because instant gratification wasn't in your cards, step outside of yourself. Look at the big picture. Are you reacting like a child throwing a tantrum because someone carried you up a mountain but  brought oranges instead of cookies for a snack? Are you waking up each day thinking about all the things that are right in your world or are you discontent and looking to spread that feeling around?

My life has been change, it has been lessons; sometimes hard ones. I own my mistakes, and my focus is now and tomorrow. In a disconnected world, connect and be human. Sometimes when we let ourselves get caught up in minutiae we miss the real wonder life is.

Are you stuck?

I just made myself shudder. If you are stuck, it is inventory time. The word inventory brings to mind a large retail store with a never ending checklist and tedious cataloging. I'm not referring to that kind of inventory.

Part of the human condition seems to be struggling against our own inner demons, the parts of ourselves that critically observe and paint the details of our spirit in the harshest tones and most painful lighting. To many of us our defects and deficiencies are glaring and they overshadow our perception of ourselves. Let me frame it up for the rest of you. Pretend that three friends are standing at a lookout point, looking out across the mountains. Two friends are looking at the beautiful view, enjoying the pine scent in the air and the sweet birdsong. The third friend is stuck in the car looking for their shoes, only seeing the cluttered mess of the car, the check engine light glaring, and the stink of french fries that fell in the crack between seats. The third friend is still at a beautiful place, but can't get out of the car to appreciate it. In their mind they have to put their shoes on, then their mind gets distracted by other negatives and they spend their time trying to fix the car. Sadly, they're trying to fix the car without the right tools in the wrong place.

Golden Gate Canyon State Park, Inspiration Point View

Do you find yourself being that third friend quite often? Listening to your friends talk about all of the places they have been, the adventures they have had, while you have tried so hard to go forward while you are running in place?

Inventories are tools that you can use to monitor yourself. When you are looking to make changes, to go from the person stuck in the car to being the one out ahead of everyone on life's adventures an inventory creates a map for you. There are many types of maps. Different inventories come together to give you a complete picture. Diet, exercise, nutrition, sleep, behavior, mood can all be monitored. You learn a lot about yourself through self monitoring. You can identify things you want to change. You can see patterns emerge from food sensitivities that affect behavior to triggers of negative behaviors and thought patterns.

Instead of the pity train and the nobody loves me song; try setting goals. Stop basing your emotional state and self worth on the words of others. If you have trouble remembering your positive moments and achievements, start tracking them. Start journaling on the positives in your life. Break out of the negative cycle. I'm not saying go into happy delusional denial, we all need to tune in, speak up and become active in shaping our communities and how we interact with the world. It isn't like there is a back up world that comes out after we screw this one up for someone's 'killer' profits.

Sounds hard? Sounds tedious?

How about goal setting? What do you want to do with your life? Picture yourself at age 90. Talk to yourself, what would you tell you to go do? What experiences would you want to be able to remember?

Observation Tower View, Outside Rollinsville Colorado

Give yourself direction. Do you want to visit a desert? Do you want to pick fruit fresh from the plant? Do you want to have an apiary? What shows, concerts, and entertainment venues do you wish you could see? What places have you put off traveling to see? What foods have you never tried? In your heart, what experiences would make you smile when you wake up?

What experiences would motivate you to step beyond that messy, cramped car? What holds you back?

Danny Lord enjoys the view on Flagstaff Summit outside Boulder Colorado

When we get into a negative mindset, we become overly critical of ourselves. We punish ourselves and sometimes resent the people who do not seem to have the same struggles we do. Misery loves company, and in our minds we find ourselves wanting them to 'pay' for being free. That is backward. We should be reaching out to them saying "throw me a rope, I am stuck." We should be learning from them and appreciating them. They've won a battle that we fight and lose ground to every day. Perhaps because they never chose that fight, they never fell into the trap we are caught in.

On a cloudy sunday, I ask you to do one thing.

Do something today that brings a real smile, a true laugh, and creates a memory that you will be glad to have when you are 90.

 Set your fears, self recriminations and judgments aside; life is too short to spend it stuck in one little box. You are the only person who can make the choice to get out and live, you are the only one who determines how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself, and how you see the world. The rest of us can tell you the vistas are beautiful, that you are incredible and worth loving, but you make the choice whether to listen or tune us out.

Indian Paintbrush at Sunset

Mud Pies and Magpies

Colorado has magpies. Beautiful black and white birds, they look like they are prepared to go to a formal event. Tricksters and opportunists they observe and call out in a variety of voices as if they have a hundred other birds songs caught on a secret recorder that they play back to amuse and astound.
I enjoy bird watching. The wheeling buzzards and turkey vultures, the darting little wrens and sparrows, the watchful hawks and owls sitting on branches waiting for mice to move below them. Once I even saw a nighthawk sitting on it's nest. On another occasion I heard the woods fill with the echoing song of Whippoorwills on a Missouri summer night. There is nothing so wonderful as observing nature as it is. Not interfering, not shouting or making loud noises. Not even talking, just sitting and letting life happen around you as if you were a stone or a tree. There is a peace in such observance. Our own petty distractions and illusions fall away. There is what is, the made up stuff vanishes in the sounds and scents of the real world. It is humbling to realize how much of what we focus on and invest our energy in is not even real and does not really matter in the long run. In a hundred years it will not matter what any of us thought of each other. Political views, religious views, even life choices- they will not matter and they will not be remembered beyond generalization.

The sounds of nature are incredible. They surround and soothe. The sounds of animals going about the rituals of life regardless of the head games and complications we like to add to it. The frogs singing for rain, singing for mates. The crickets with their steady beat, keeping time with the sound of the wind through tall grasses and leaves.

Today I head into the city, my significant other continues to rest and heal. I become three different fictional people for a few hours, I do work on contract. I act out a role and fulfill a contract. The work is easy and enjoyable. It is observing others as they work. Allowing people to do their jobs and to take a moment to observe a slice of their lives. Just like when I go out into the woods and watch nature, only I am observing people in an urban setting instead. The same peace and sense of wonderment can be found. The same appreciation for the brighter aspects of watching people be their best, as they go through their every day lives.

It is about being more than what we have chosen to be in the past, to be mindful of the world, respectful of each other. As parts of Society chooses to atone or at least acknowledge past wrongs, we should not turn and attack each other because apologizes and acknowledgements begin offering closure on violent and negative parts of history. We should not hide or try to edit the embarrassing mistakes of the past away; they are the scars that remind us to choose more wisely, more considerately in the future.

Sarcasm is the latest way to excuse ignorance. When a poisonous comment is noted for being inappropriate, the latest excuse is "it is Sarcasm, aren't you smart enough to tell?" No. Sarcasm, when used properly is understood and appreciated. You can't claim sarcasm after you parade your ignorance and toxicity for all to see and read. It is like hitting someone with a baseball bat, then claiming you were killing a mosquito on their head. Seriously. There is a time and place for humor.

Perhaps instead of attacking each other over our differences, it is past time we let go. We stop trying to be little Emperors and Bully Boys. Other people have the right to their own choices in their own lives. It does not matter what we think of them, it does not matter what they think of us. Sit out in nature and listen to the crickets, frogs, birds. Watch the squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits go about their lives. Even with your presence they continue going about their lives. The squirrels may loudly complain you are invading their space. Other than that, the animals go about their lives leaving you to go about yours. Take that lesson and apply it to Social Media, social interactions.

In nature no flower resents another for its color and appearance, they grow and they bloom.

When I was a child I made mudpies on rainy days. Soppy cold water, grainy mud full of pebbles, and whatever random container I could find. No one really wanted them, no one ever ate them. This was always known, yet on rainy days it was fun to make them. It was fun to decide who each one was for. No one ever shattered the illusion with negativity or venom, yet now with the advent of Social Media people cannot wait for the opportunity to verbally slash at each other. Sometimes I post things just to see what angles people will attack from, to see if reason or emotion will be the instigation of ridicule or antagonism. They both come up about 50/50. Both are used to justify behaving like a spoiled teenager on social media. It has become apparent that while we as individuals appear to have maturity, on social media we can be less mature than the teenagers who's behavior we try to shape. They see what we post. They see how we choose to live. We aren't the best role models. We turn them to shopping when they are sad or hurt, eating when they feel lonely, feeling bad about their bodies if they aren't a perfect size two, feeling impotent as politicians continue to be inept and apparently beyond their control.

Time to make mudpies and to go out into nature. Time to relearn how to express our maturity. Time to demonstrate our growth, time to heal each other. Time for us to choose to observe each other at our best, to hold that and continue to respect and treat each other well despite what we were taught.

Today, I have the honor of enjoying part of three people's lives and witnessing their appreciation for the work they do. What are you doing to grow today and can I make you a mudpie the next time it rains?

When was the last time you went out walking, just to look at the moss? 

Colorado's State Flower, Columbine - When was the last time you went in search of wildflowers? 

In a circle all are equal.