How Do You Behave in Stores?

Running retail stores is an eye opening experience. Remember the days of long ago, before selfies and Instagram? Before Amazon and eBay? The days so ancient our memories are soaked in sepia, when stores had salespeople who knew their products, tended them and adeptly assisted in shopping- making the experience enjoyable?
There are still physical stores that offer good service. We focus on service in the shops I run. How to treat customers, how to do the things that need to be done. But wait! There's another important side to this coin. The patron.
I've noticed in the last few years and increase in apathy and destructive behavior in shoppers. Instead of using try me buttons, patrons trying to force animated toys to move manually, sometimes breaking them- then walking away. Ripping apart animated figures to pose with body parts for selfies- figures they haven't bought and don't intend to, and if you mention paying for the merchandise they damaged- they are affronted, how dare we expect them to be responsible for their actions!
Folks, when you shop, regardless of where you are:
Treat products with respect. Do not break things. Ask permission before picking things up. Do not fight with or use objects someone is selling unless you've bought them. Do not break things. Picking up a Halloween decorations and shoving it in your girlfriend's face- so she screams and breaks it or putting on a mask you haven't bought and jumping at a friend in a shop full of people, knocking over a display of new masks in the process, also unacceptable. Not funny. Not cool. Running out of a store with any object from the store without paying is not a game, it is shoplifting.
What happened to respect?
We choose how we behave. We are responsible for our actions and choices.
It's important to call people on inappropriate behavior. The guy who knocked over a display: another patron caught it. He gave the guy who did it a tongue lashing that calmed him down and got him remembering how he should be acting.
Twice I've had to talk to kids about not leaving stores with stuff from shops if they haven't bought it. Once, the kids were chagrined and apologized. The other time, Mom ran interference. She had them bring back what they took but buffered them from chastisement. She might not realize, when she's not around they'll do it again as she just made it okay.
We change behavior by modeling behavior and communicating expectations. I have an employee now who welcomes folks into the shop where people forget to behave. He smiles and stands. He's polite. He steps in if people get ridiculous and asks them to leave if they start throwing product around or making out with animated figures or dismembering them.
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd write a reminder of how we the shoppers should behave but here it is.
The Golden rule is important everywhere.

Be Your Own Savior

There are many things I would love to write about. I don't always have the right to choose to share them. Many issues I face or help others address are not the kind of issues I can share.

A few weeks ago I got a Craigslist follow up call, I was amused thinking it was for a foot modeling gig for private parties. Would my feet measure up? Would they be the Foot Fetishist Dream? Would  I be able to act like I cared?

Instead it was an interest meeting for brokering. It was eye opening. Company has an excellent reputation and is focused on helping people plan for retirement and set up benefits into plans that accrue interest in a consistent manner without risk of giant, catastrophic loss. Talking with Sammy about the company, income potential, and what brings people into working as brokers we covered heavy topics.

Several of the guys left college admissions. It was about getting people to choose to take on debt with high risk and minimal value. They left. They left high level management positions.  Sammy looked at me, asked why I would consider becoming part of their team. It was obvious I was not profit driven. I was the wild card in the room, great socialization skills but little concern for money.

I thought about it. I would do it to help others. I would do it to be able to fund projects and work that I believe in. I would mostly give it away.

I think about that and look around. I see a world full of people caught up in their own worlds. I spend a lot of time thinking of what I can do or say to help them step out of the metaphorical cave and into the light. Donald Trump has taught me one thing of merit. He's taught me that people aren't choosing to be as progressive as they could be. Many are choosing old and unhealthy behaviors and indulgence. It's easy to complain and rip apart Those People, when you are not one of them and you're sitting comfortably surrounded by amenities.

Some days I wonder if we need reminders of mortality and disaster to shake people into caring for each other. Other days I wish I didn't know it to be true.

Why choose selfishness? The dis-ease and unrest in our society comes from our selfishness and insecurities. Fear of jealousy, fear of change, fear of competition, fear of commitment, fear of pain or discomfort, fear that others will know our weaknesses, fear of social reprisal or ridicule. I deserve. I want. I should have. Rationalizing why it's okay just because you don't have to see the person who's picking up the tab for your excess. Record profits are great when you don't have to stare the family struggling to pay their bills signing up for assistance because the parents wages are set low to keep profits high.

We like sports. Teams to cheer for. Shit talk to dish out. Grudges and posturing to do. Its the same with religions, politics, and social status. I don't buy into it. I save my money and time for the quiet desperation I see in others faces. I save it to help them help themselves. I give them the tools when I can so they can be their own Saviors. I quietly offer them the idea that their lives are up to them, their choices are not society's to make. There are no rules they need to live by if they are willing to accept the consequences of their actions. With this knowledge comes freedom. You can drive a hundred miles an hour if you are willing to pay the price and potentially lose your life. You can also choose to start a business to empower people to help each other and to offer them tools to save themselves.

Sammy offered me the tools to be my own Savior potentially. It is in my hands whether I slide into old excuses or whether I progress around walls that have blocked me in the past. I am the enemy I face off against.

Danny says to me "You have to learn to put yourself first." It hurts to see people choosing hate, aggression, ignorance. It hurts.

What would make you happy? What do you want?
Tough questions. I want freedom. I want to keep moving, traveling, and growing. I want to see other people choosing the same. I want to see us start fighting a war against corruption, greed and corporate control. Society disappoints. It snags our focus with outraging soundbites and quotes. It seduces us with the illusion of awareness as actual change. It manipulates us through plausible arguments. It entices us with money.

Work harder. It is the only way to get to your true god. Money. Show me one church in this world that isn't operating with money. One that gives away every dime it gets. One that doesn't care if it even gets a single dime. Wait, there is one. It's the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Alright, other than an Atheist Church, any?

The more money you make, the quicker it's gone and the more personalities shift to keep it away from everyone else unless it's done in a way that makes it come back. Tax write offs are often mistaken as generosity.

And those people that own the governments and political machines, do you think they work harder?
Many were ruthless in business, earning their money from taking advantage of other people or destroying other people. They aren't working hard. They aren't working at much other than to keep the ridiculous excess they have. They spend a lot of money to convince you to go into debt or to work harder for them. They pay the politicians on  both sides just to give you sport to cheer for and rail against.

You change the world so much through social media gripes that nothing changes. You give away all of your privacy. Your desires, dislikes, all up for grabs. They are being analyzed to use for company profits. Not for your ease or benefit. That is not what capitalism or corporatism is about.

 Perhaps more people need to learn to put society first.
In a world where we value each other as much as ourselves, we would choose to take the time to settle differences. We would attend to each other's well being without worry of cost. We would share knowledge and resources as needed.

It is not a perfect world. Our society was shaped by cutthroat profiteers. We allow red collar criminals to make fortunes as we kill each other in wars that are really about money so they can be richer.

That money could be providing for everyone. Instead it is gouging our world, ripping it apart.

I can't change anyone but myself. I realize there is nowhere in this world that I can save myself from encountering greed, bullying, apathy, and shallow preoccupations except within my own heart.

I tell you. Be your own Savior.
It is up to you to choose what sort of human you are. Religions have tried for hundreds of years to keep people from choosing to destroy each other or to justify the destruction of others. Time to change unhealthy patterns. Support religious groups and leaders who live as they teach, who encourage healthy behaviors and tolerance instead of bigotry and violence.

Don't tell me you follow an amazing spiritual advisor who tells you to give away while they live in a mansion and swim in millions. That is not feeding the poor. That is not helping the needy. That is not using their resources for positive change. It's called profiteering.
Remember. In one hundred years, no one will really remember you at all. Do you remember the names of your ancestors, their stories?

What sort of life do you choose to live? What excuses are you using to keep following a path of powerlessness?

There's a phrase I love. Pick your own battles. A better one. Pick your own peace. Make your own peace.

There are many stories I cannot share. They are an ocean I swim with undertow I cannot describe but feel pulling at me relentlessly. I let go. I do what I can do. I offer what I can. I let go to survive.

You can waste a lifetime vomiting pointless opinion on social feeds. You can choose to spend that time changing your path. Your choice. Are you a hamster or a human? The wheel is waiting but so is the world.

#Seeyouinthestreets

Disposable Society

Welcome to a disposable world. Friends come as easy as a button click on Facebook, they go just as easily. Bedding the wrong color? Need to match the blender and the microwave? Does your child need every new plastic toy that comes along? Can you focus on anything for longer than five minutes without getting restless? Do you feel powerless, depressed and driven to want things as if things could make that feeling flee?

Welcome to a disposable world, where we are disposable people. We feel we are worth more than we are paid, we feel we need the money, we need the debts, we need what?

I spent yesterday afternoon appreciating the beauty of Oak Flats Campground. According to Resolution Mining Company the ground there will be stable for maybe ten to twenty years. They intend the ground to be stable at Apache Leap, but they are being trusted to monitor that themselves. Mines that regulate themselves contaminate and destroy water supplies, history has a long list of examples. Go ahead, drink tap water in Bisbee. I dare you. Laugh and call me an alarmist, just keep drinking that tap water so I can sing your eulogy.

It's alright, I know escapism is more important to you. It's someone else's responsibility, right? Since we're on a downward spiral, why does it matter? It will only matter when we realize we've gone past the point of no return. Our garbage lines streets in India, ocean fish populations are pillaged and not nurtured to be maintained or protected. We live in a world where it's about me and today. Egocentric, narcissistic and without any meaningful value.

What can we do to change?

Stop listening to the ads. Stop supporting marketing campaigns. Stop buying things you do not need. Instead of spending time playing games and running away from reality, face it.

Teach your children to be responsible. Teach them to value what they need rather than become addicted to wanting. Start going without wants, focus on recognizing needs and meeting the real needs you have. Chart your own course, take responsibility for your role in this world. Don't like your job? Change jobs. Don't like how you are treated, start communicating better and acknowledge your own role in where you are at.

Reach out to others who are choosing freedom and reality. The time for games is over, it is time for us all to grow up. We are not as important as we think we are.

What we leave as a legacy are our children and the world. When we destroy mountains, wipe out species through the drive for shallow and temporary profits, we demonstrate that we are a pathetic and short sighted species that can do no better than destroy ourselves, fight each other over differences in intangible philosophies, and justify our own deprivation.

When I look at the beautiful places, undisturbed by man I wrestle, wanting to explore but wanting to leave those places untouched for nature to continue as always has been without interruption. My desire to be there is not as important as the lives that unfold there.

We really need to get over the idea that we are all special. We are not all princesses and princes. We are a bunch of whiny, irresponsible, inconsiderate, hypocritical, weak children dressed like adults. Willpower? Ability to resist impulses?

We can start by doing our own research. Eating healthy and exercising, planning your life to address your long term goals. What goals do you have? How do you want to be remembered? What legacy will you leave, beyond reaching a fictitious skill level in a fabricated game?

I support saving Oak Flat Campground and Devil's Canyon. I support preserving Apache Leap.

I support the Clean Water Campaign.

I value the world, the future enough to say it is past time to stop sitting and tuning out the warning cries of a world being roughly raped and pillaged. It is past time for us to realize that we're on antidepressant medication to take the edge off, because we've let things go to far. We've given up our power to corrupt, wealthy politicians and corporations. They shape our lives. Why?

Escapism and "being free in your head" are the answers a child would give living in an abusive environment. It alarms me how many people live as adults that way. I've always been the one that stands to take the hit and strike back. I will call it as I see it. I accept responsibility for my words, actions, choices. I gave up games. I'm playing at a higher level, and I'm playing for a free future in a healthy world.

Together, thousands of us can change things. We boycott buying unnecessary goods. We start gardens, farms and community support. We meet our neighbors. We accept that technology is fostering complacency and apathy in us. We choose to change. We set goals and we relearn healthy habits and choices.

Needs: food, shelter, water.
Wants: plastic doodads, cartoon themed sets, accessories, how many digital devices do you need?

Getting what you want doesn't fill the void inside you, only learning to listen and love yourself as is can fill that void. Stop perpetuating an abusive society rife with shallow self delusion. Accept responsibility, start prioritizing and take the wheel. If you squander this life you do not get another one.

Or, go ahead, disregard my words and be a disposable person in a society of disposable people.