Be Your Own Savior

There are many things I would love to write about. I don't always have the right to choose to share them. Many issues I face or help others address are not the kind of issues I can share.

A few weeks ago I got a Craigslist follow up call, I was amused thinking it was for a foot modeling gig for private parties. Would my feet measure up? Would they be the Foot Fetishist Dream? Would  I be able to act like I cared?

Instead it was an interest meeting for brokering. It was eye opening. Company has an excellent reputation and is focused on helping people plan for retirement and set up benefits into plans that accrue interest in a consistent manner without risk of giant, catastrophic loss. Talking with Sammy about the company, income potential, and what brings people into working as brokers we covered heavy topics.

Several of the guys left college admissions. It was about getting people to choose to take on debt with high risk and minimal value. They left. They left high level management positions.  Sammy looked at me, asked why I would consider becoming part of their team. It was obvious I was not profit driven. I was the wild card in the room, great socialization skills but little concern for money.

I thought about it. I would do it to help others. I would do it to be able to fund projects and work that I believe in. I would mostly give it away.

I think about that and look around. I see a world full of people caught up in their own worlds. I spend a lot of time thinking of what I can do or say to help them step out of the metaphorical cave and into the light. Donald Trump has taught me one thing of merit. He's taught me that people aren't choosing to be as progressive as they could be. Many are choosing old and unhealthy behaviors and indulgence. It's easy to complain and rip apart Those People, when you are not one of them and you're sitting comfortably surrounded by amenities.

Some days I wonder if we need reminders of mortality and disaster to shake people into caring for each other. Other days I wish I didn't know it to be true.

Why choose selfishness? The dis-ease and unrest in our society comes from our selfishness and insecurities. Fear of jealousy, fear of change, fear of competition, fear of commitment, fear of pain or discomfort, fear that others will know our weaknesses, fear of social reprisal or ridicule. I deserve. I want. I should have. Rationalizing why it's okay just because you don't have to see the person who's picking up the tab for your excess. Record profits are great when you don't have to stare the family struggling to pay their bills signing up for assistance because the parents wages are set low to keep profits high.

We like sports. Teams to cheer for. Shit talk to dish out. Grudges and posturing to do. Its the same with religions, politics, and social status. I don't buy into it. I save my money and time for the quiet desperation I see in others faces. I save it to help them help themselves. I give them the tools when I can so they can be their own Saviors. I quietly offer them the idea that their lives are up to them, their choices are not society's to make. There are no rules they need to live by if they are willing to accept the consequences of their actions. With this knowledge comes freedom. You can drive a hundred miles an hour if you are willing to pay the price and potentially lose your life. You can also choose to start a business to empower people to help each other and to offer them tools to save themselves.

Sammy offered me the tools to be my own Savior potentially. It is in my hands whether I slide into old excuses or whether I progress around walls that have blocked me in the past. I am the enemy I face off against.

Danny says to me "You have to learn to put yourself first." It hurts to see people choosing hate, aggression, ignorance. It hurts.

What would make you happy? What do you want?
Tough questions. I want freedom. I want to keep moving, traveling, and growing. I want to see other people choosing the same. I want to see us start fighting a war against corruption, greed and corporate control. Society disappoints. It snags our focus with outraging soundbites and quotes. It seduces us with the illusion of awareness as actual change. It manipulates us through plausible arguments. It entices us with money.

Work harder. It is the only way to get to your true god. Money. Show me one church in this world that isn't operating with money. One that gives away every dime it gets. One that doesn't care if it even gets a single dime. Wait, there is one. It's the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Alright, other than an Atheist Church, any?

The more money you make, the quicker it's gone and the more personalities shift to keep it away from everyone else unless it's done in a way that makes it come back. Tax write offs are often mistaken as generosity.

And those people that own the governments and political machines, do you think they work harder?
Many were ruthless in business, earning their money from taking advantage of other people or destroying other people. They aren't working hard. They aren't working at much other than to keep the ridiculous excess they have. They spend a lot of money to convince you to go into debt or to work harder for them. They pay the politicians on  both sides just to give you sport to cheer for and rail against.

You change the world so much through social media gripes that nothing changes. You give away all of your privacy. Your desires, dislikes, all up for grabs. They are being analyzed to use for company profits. Not for your ease or benefit. That is not what capitalism or corporatism is about.

 Perhaps more people need to learn to put society first.
In a world where we value each other as much as ourselves, we would choose to take the time to settle differences. We would attend to each other's well being without worry of cost. We would share knowledge and resources as needed.

It is not a perfect world. Our society was shaped by cutthroat profiteers. We allow red collar criminals to make fortunes as we kill each other in wars that are really about money so they can be richer.

That money could be providing for everyone. Instead it is gouging our world, ripping it apart.

I can't change anyone but myself. I realize there is nowhere in this world that I can save myself from encountering greed, bullying, apathy, and shallow preoccupations except within my own heart.

I tell you. Be your own Savior.
It is up to you to choose what sort of human you are. Religions have tried for hundreds of years to keep people from choosing to destroy each other or to justify the destruction of others. Time to change unhealthy patterns. Support religious groups and leaders who live as they teach, who encourage healthy behaviors and tolerance instead of bigotry and violence.

Don't tell me you follow an amazing spiritual advisor who tells you to give away while they live in a mansion and swim in millions. That is not feeding the poor. That is not helping the needy. That is not using their resources for positive change. It's called profiteering.
Remember. In one hundred years, no one will really remember you at all. Do you remember the names of your ancestors, their stories?

What sort of life do you choose to live? What excuses are you using to keep following a path of powerlessness?

There's a phrase I love. Pick your own battles. A better one. Pick your own peace. Make your own peace.

There are many stories I cannot share. They are an ocean I swim with undertow I cannot describe but feel pulling at me relentlessly. I let go. I do what I can do. I offer what I can. I let go to survive.

You can waste a lifetime vomiting pointless opinion on social feeds. You can choose to spend that time changing your path. Your choice. Are you a hamster or a human? The wheel is waiting but so is the world.

#Seeyouinthestreets

We are all Those People to Someone

Beliefs are clashing. Fear and outrage are the new American high. Who to blame? Who to hate? What's the group of the week?
Before the words "you people" or "they all" or "those people" come out of your mouth, remember absolute statements are dangerous. Absolute statements about groups of people close minds and close eyes, they are used to influence our behavior. It's okay to do morally reprehensible things to people we can mentally justify as beneath moral consideration. When we do this we forget, we are the "you, they, and those people" to someone else.
I don't want someone's arbitrary group bias to negatively impact me, I don't want to negatively impact someone else because I'm mistaking a human being for a stereotype that could be devastatingly wrong.
Consider, to children who have had family who were non-military die in bombings, people working in sweat shops to make the clothes we're wearing, migrant workers fighting cancer from the pesticide additives to GMO crops: the insincere, soft, ignorant, judgemental, greedy 'Muricans are all of us. You are thinking, but I am not, I do not, that's not accurate! You're probably right, but it's what others might perceive. Nobody is perfect. If I throw stones I will throw stones at myself, throwing them at anyone else isn't justified. 

Blanket hatred for ethnic groups needs to be an embarrassing human flaw of the past. We need to teach awareness, tolerance, and approach things we fear with common sense, cool heads and compassion.

Black lives matter. Native lives matter. There is white privilege, but not every white is privileged. I read justifications for blanket prejudice from individual experiences, inflammatory and derogatory actions and words with zero tolerance for other people's experiences, common sense, reason, or respect.

Society is acting like an entitled child having a temper tantrum and lashing out because "they". Religion, political beliefs, cultural beliefs are all justifications for anything: we can use them for acts of beauty and kindness. Instead of building one nuclear weapon we could provide food and stability to an unstable country.

 Food, clothing, shelter, and compassion will always have a greater impact on improving the world than any weapon. Why are we still feeding a perpetuating cycle of hate and violence? Time to grow. Time to let go of outrage and resentment. The future grows when we quit poisoning ourselves on hatred we excuse because of our perception of the past.

 Everyone has ancestors who were assholes. They survived. We learn from their mistakes. Let's not emulate them.

A small percentage of people have the wealth, legislation, and media at their finger tips. It's up to you if you choose to become a puppet to rhetoric, whether it's Islamic, Christian, or Pro-life. Terrorism is killing for beliefs. It's time for us to stop rewarding terrorism and terrorists with publicity. Their acts are shameful and heinous. Honor the bravery of survivors. Problem solve. What led to the attack? Life stressors, lack of money, relationships, religion? What can we as a society address and change in a positive way?

I'm going to refer to history.
When you want peace you take care of the needs of people whether they are like you or different. When you want war you inhumanize and provoke and attack. 

Would you want someone's arbitrary beliefs and prejudice making major impacts on your life? I don't want that level of responsibility and I don't want it done to me.

None of us is perfect. Work on yourself.
If you've got a loved one who is lost to rabid hatred and blanket statements offer them other perspectives and know that somewhere, in a ghetto, in an office building, in a war zone someone else is trying to talk sense and a live and let live philosophy to a rabid friend there.

There's no absolutes about people. Treat everyone as an individual. Treat everyone else as if their life and their choices deserve as much respect as your own.

How many lives have to be disrupted or destroyed because of prejudice? It's caused more wars, human rights violations, and murders than any bomb or gun. The bombs and guns are tools. The people wielding them are dangerous, thinking tools.

Give people a chance, disarm a prejudice today.

Welcome to my Blog! The Absurd and the real… Commentary on modern society.

From Lovecraft to politics, I will be writing about the absurdities of modern society here. Common sense to uncommon cents, it will be a look at real life in a surreal reality.

We have just entered the season I have taken to calling "Merry Capitalism" where advertisers do not even try to disguise their treatment of people as consumers. We are walking wallets to businesses, from email advertising deals to three pounds of additional advertising fliers in the Sunday papers to show us what we should really be focused on. There are stretches of commercials lasting three to five minutes for every six to eight minutes of television shows; commercials showing us what we should want to eat and where we should want to go. None of it focused on community, none of it focused on who we are and yet we wonder why we are depressed and frustrated and we have no money.

Merry Capitalism! Three religions celebrate holidays in December. Towns are full of decorations, the radio is gradually overtaken by Christmas songs, and sales, sales, sales! While all of the constant advertising tapping is going on, like a constant knocking on your mind there are larger issues that are being twisted by the media. The media, owned by six corporations that determine what to talk about based on what we tune into and what sells. Our attention and our dreams are bought and sold, not on Wall Street and not in Washington but here on google and Face book. We tweet and pin our lives to a virtual sanctuary away from the unreality around us.

Advertisements for game realities are peppered through television shows. You can pay to spend as many hours as you like being an ogre ninja assassin, stealing cars and committing genocide without leaving your comfortable chair. You can have friends who do not really know you and live no where near you. You can walk down the street and stare at a 4 inch by 2 inch screen, you can chat with people online while ignoring the people you are walking right next to. You can ignore live entertainment for YouTube videos that are edited so that elephants parachute and ostriches slide down roller coasters. You do not have to imagine, companies like Disney are there to sell you generic dreams of red headed mermaids and all fairies are now pixies; because if you spend enough money your dreams really do come true?

I find myself doubting all of these advertisements are true. The tabloids constantly depict the dysfunctional lives of the rich and famous. If fame and riches made one happy and made dreams come true, would so many with material wealth and influence be so self destructive and screwed up?

Ignoring the advertisements, deleting Amazon's daily recommendations, I follow the updates on how the homeless are dehumanized and how the people assisting them are criminalized. At the same time there are fights and protests to raise wage levels, with people who make hardly more than minimum wage defending current wage levels- so their income stays above minimum wage? The newspaper mentions that our government is paying billions to fund the military in Iraq, paying over 50,000 ghost soldiers who do not exist- why pay them when you could hand that money to the homeless here or spread it out in assistance programs to help people in this country back on their feet?

People are fighting to get equal treatment by the justice system regardless of color, but you're probably looking for that big sale to get another gift for a family member of something they do not want or need- because that is what our society is about rather than thinking about racial issues. Racial issues are so yesterday. People are only helping when it is all over the media and thirty seconds later making the situation worse with callous negative commentary against the people who are facing the reality of injustice.

People fight for the rights of the super rich, perceiving that the middle class is in a higher income bracket than it really is. People dream of being the uber rich, and want them to have the rights to drain the rest of us and allow them to have the power to destroy the environment and puppeteer the government because some day it could be them and they know they would be more benevolent but would want the world to live based on their opinions. Reality is, if you are in the 99%- you will never become part of the one percent. You will never be uber rich, even if you won the top monetary prize on every scratch off ticket sold in your state. Watching how people defend ineptitude in Washington as well as the rights of the uber rich is like watching a school of fish defend a hungry shark that is devouring them while they keep the harpoon of the fisherman away.

I have spent the last ten years working as a storyteller, because I have been self employed my resume somehow looks worse than a crack whore standing on a street corner with a sign that says "free herpes here." You would think that someone who has lived well and successfully working for themselves should be considered a higher asset by an employer than someone who loses jobs every other month due to poor work ethics and lack of common sense. Not in American society.

I barter, I work gigs, I live on busking at local events, entertainment contracts and the kindness of amazing friends who open their home to a wandering nomad. My wealth is in my friends, my experiences, my enthusiasm and personality. Gratitude and love do not purchase groceries or car repairs, so I am constantly figuring out ways to live without ever standing on a corner with a pity me cardboard sign. The word hand to mouth is a good description, but in my case it is even more true than in the case of someone who has constant, low income. My income comes in small spurts that are large enough to meet my basic needs but beyond that nothing. Amazon can recommend all it wants, I will be deleting all the recommendations. Apparently Amazon does not realize that someone without a consistent income doesn't shop every day and doesn't do holiday gifts. Without a consistent income I find myself becoming hyperaware of how people are losing their humanity and becoming nothing more than wallets. I am not a wallet. I cannot be, so therefore I am human.

I live in the real world, watching as technology changes the face of society. Reading posts of people struggling with human emotions and isolation in a world where allegedly, friends are at our fingertips. I fight against the dehumanization and puppeteering by encouraging my friends to stay connected and to be more than what they buy and to choose not to live in virtual worlds. There is a real world outside the door with trees, grass, flowers and animals. Have you visited it lately? Have you looked away from your phone or tablet to meet the person sitting next to you? Stop pretending the people you walk by aren't there, stop having private business meetings on your blue tooth while you shop in Walmart. Use the technology, do not let it use you. Do not let the media and marketing campaigns manipulate you into becoming just a consumer- a consumer of fad news and cheap goods.

I will say it again, Merry Capitalism. I want to remind you all that it is your choice how to celebrate the holidays. You can buy into the advertisements or you can turn off, tune out and reach out. There are friends, family members, soup kitchens, churches, and more where real people can connect and make real memories. You can impact real lives in a real meaningful way and in doing so, you can rediscover what happiness is.