Saturday, December 30, 2017

Spinning Your Wheels versus Progress

Ever feel like you are stuck? You try to move forward, but you find yourself walking in place. Life events create hurdles for you to overcome. Unexpected events shake you, distract you and you find yourself standing in the same place a year later. You wonder why the places you want to go, the things you want to do, they never seem to get any closer.
You find you are spinning your wheels. Working hard to stay in the same place. You struggle even more, get your feelings behind you to give an extra push. You're invested now. You've got to bull your way through. Or do you?

Sometimes you have to take the time to sit down and make a list. What are your goals? Where do you want to be? What do you love doing? Why aren't you doing it? What are you waiting for? What excuses are you accepting as an okay reason not to succeed.

This winter, short days and long nights, has given me the opportunity to stop spinning my wheels. Stop surviving and shifting place to place in an endless quest to move forward. There is a list of gear I need to work on videos, a few expensive pieces of sound equipment for stage shows, supplies and materials for a new business letting people pay to do their own silk marbling at Art Shows and other events. A sweet kitten to play with. Books to edit and write. Ideas keep popping in, but they don't write themselves. Then there's marketing. Exposure. Spreading the word. Finding ways to network.

Every direction has a hundred tasks and small details. What is the camping like? What are the tax rates and event fees? How much will it cost us if we don't sell a single thing? Keep writing. The more I write, the clearer it is and the more vivid. Day after day of staring at a computer screen, reading my own words over and over. Are they the right words? Are the sentences smooth? Are the descriptions thorough, do they flow naturally? Was the thought clear in my head but muddy in black and white?

Day after day of going back over stories. Adding the missing details, fixing sentences, eliminating a thousand thats that dotted the manuscript like mold. That became my least favorite word, along with "You know" which was a verbal hiccup I fought telling stories in the street. The cheap hook to keep attention when something flashy happened nearby and eyes started to glance away. You Know is the magic that brings focus back. You Know That. Ugh. There they are again.

Several times I stopped and walked away. Took a day to make jewelry. A day to play games. Sanity days. Days away from the other worlds and characters running around in my head.

Working on plans to move forward. Publishing on Amazon in ebook and paperback, pursuing audiobook options as well. Starting a little business and doing events when I'm not already contracted to be somewhere entertaining or managing a shop.

I am stepping into 2018 with a smile and a feeling of accomplishment. The to do list is long, but I do not feel like I am spinning my wheels anymore.