This weekend is an exciting start of a wonderful festival I've been looking forward to entertaining at.
Sitting in a room full of monitors holding my significant other's hand, everything I'm hearing is "you can't go now." Reason says you have to, work adds money we need to our coffers. We support each other. The heart says hell no. Instead of letting either decide, while these angels and devils argued I asked my boss for advice and let her in on what's going on. Choices. Stay, go or attempt the herculean task of trying to commute 900 miles for the first few weeks of a show.
Fear paced the floor with me and a thousand negative what ifs. It didn't take long for her to respond. Her response brought tears to my eyes and relief to my heart. Stay. Take care of your significant other, come when everything is resolved. I can't put my words together well enough to say how grateful I am.
So many friends, so much love. I'm looking forward to the day this health situation is resolved, I'm looking forward to getting out my paints, putting on my hat and sharing out the profound love in my heart, paying it forward in magic moments at Bristol.
I read a post on Facebook that asked "Would you give up a thousand dollars to stay with someone you love if they developed a serious health concern?"
Honestly. I would give up more than that. Society pushes and pressures, insinuating that everything falls apart without money. Allegedly primitive cultures do not allow money to be the determining factor in support or life choices, so why should we? I can't put a dollar value on being able to feel the warm, live flesh of my significant other or to hear his voice calm and happy. I refuse to. I will do whatever jobs I need to to get by, whether it's gardening, cleaning, cooking, counseling, tutoring, or entertaining. For the next couple of weeks I'm focusing on my partner's health. Then I'm looking forward to entertaining and sharing the magic and love that surround me from friends across the country.
If you aren't happy, look at the choices you make. Is the duty or social pressure to have money or possessions driving you away from your happiness? Are you struggling to get money for happiness? Did you notice yet, money doesn't lead to happiness- it leads to more stress, conflict, and more wants- it is the most harmful drug ever invented that you don't snort, inject, inhale or swallow. Just the sight of it has led people to fight and kill. We give it more power than any God- every church bows to it, using it for influence and thriving on it.
Perhaps the primitives aren't so primitive?
It's all in how we rationalize it. It's all in our choices and our priorities. Listen to your heart more and your wallet less. Take time today to just appreciate life, friends, flowers, music, stories, art and the sunset. When was the last time you gazed at the stars?